Spin Off Post

Here is my spin off post kindly stolen from Fearless Leader's last blog post. If you haven't read hers, this one will make zero sense.

You Won't Even Recognize Me

So I didn't brush my hair today! I was looking in the mirror and realized that the gray streaks in my hair were VERY unattractive under every kind of light. So I decided to go to McDonald's for a badonkadonk butt. It's great that my neighbor doesn't check my garbage and count the hidden french fry boxes. They gave me a Big Mac, Large Fry and Lg Iced Coffee (for the umpteenth time in my life) THEN, I ordered my eldest a large sweet tea and took it to her at her tennis lesson, and it made me feel amazingly shiny, and worth the badonkadonk that one day will not be able to be downsized even with a flat iron. I can see it now: Before the flat iron, my badonka looked like Jennifer Lopez's in that movie Selena, and after it looked well, exactly the same. These past few days, I've felt like I should be playing a guitar and seriously bobbing my head up and down with my 3 day unbrushed hair flying in my face begging for a handout. It's really a different look, but I like it. My husband DOES NOT. Everyone at McDonald's liked it though . I got everything from "You look 10 years older" to "Did your parents lose a bet with God? to "No, really, HOW can I help you?" Then to: You need to GET HELP. SERIOUSLY" All you friend-type people will have to wait until the next time you see me, and TRY not to stare at my badonkadonk as by then it hopefully will have reverted to normal when I washed it, and I am delaying showers for a week until I bump everyone into falling down. Maybe I'll quilt the thing and theme it the "Badonkadonk quilt" and show it off Sunday night...Speaking of Sunday night...I'm off to work on that chocolate cake . I'm blessed to have wonderful friends like M who bring me recipes just because she likes to do it and wants me to be 400 llbs. It really feels great. As good or better than most cuts I've gotten while beginning to shave when I was 14. I'm also always blessed by the people of my homeschooling group who I pray thought this was hilarious. They are so much like extensions of my family, and I love them. We have such a great time together and we glorify God by loving one another. I am confident this is in NO WAY what Heaven will be like so I'll just grin and bear it until I feel better on this side or the other.

Until then,

I remain your fevered, unshowered, hair-a-mess, french-fry eating, feeling sorry for herself, badonkadonk growing friend.