Food for thought...

Well, here's some fodder for thought. (Wait, don't you CHEW fodder? I mean not YOU but the universal cow you?) Wait, that's cud. Hold on a sec...

Ok, online dictionary says:

fod·der n.
1. Feed for livestock, especially coarsely chopped hay or straw.
2. Raw material, as for artistic creation.
3. A consumable, often inferior item or resource that is in demand and usually abundant supply: romantic novels intended as fodder for the pulp fiction market.

Hmph. My blog posts most likely resemble number three most times...(the "inferior" and "abundant" part, not the "in demand" part)

so here's some more uh, food for thought....that sounds pretty good.
Ok! Ok! I'm getting to it!

The controlling woman...Ha HA!! Worth the wait was it?

I have dealt with my whole life (ok, you know what I mean, the last 15 years) with the unmistakable position of being an extrovert married to an introvert and attending the Southern Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means that I get the unenviable position of being misconstrued. And often. It is most likely always my own fault. But not because I am in control of the home but because I'm what you might call a..hmm, well- a power communicator. I love to talk it out. But find few in my circles who want to do that. And certainly not with the WIFE. Lol

I once read that a quality of one with my personality type is that I loved to argue and that if I couldn't find someone to argue with, I'd argue with myself.
Flattering eh? But true I'm afraid. Well, debate is what I like to do, NOT argue.

So, inevitably I end up trying to communicate too much and thereby become misunderstood. Belonging to the Southern Baptist Church doesn't help this much. Believing WHOLEHEARTEDLY with the patriarchal vision and truth of God's Word mandating that the husband be head of the home, the church looks down upon not strong women, but controlling ones. And not looks down upon the women per se, if they are a true example of church, but rather looks down upon that sin and lovingly brings correction.

I do find myself in some sort of quandary from time to time because I can speak! It would be less noticed if my dh was as extroverted as I am.

So perhaps this is another tool that the Lord will use to keep an already extroverted gal from becoming TOO extroverted and thereby slipping down that slippery slope of sin...or perhaps I will simply be misunderstood for life. There could be worse things.

My marriage is one of equality with our roles clearly defined. J PUTS his foot down if needs be and I straighten right up. But mostly we work together, in submission to each other; He the Pres, I, the Vice and he is one great boss let me tell you. We are a privately owned marriage by the Great I AM.

My one great weakness is that I DON'T want to be misunderstood which stems from the great sin of pride, I'm afraid. Sometimes being able to speak doesn't mean one SHOULD speak. I'm still working on that too.

But I am blessed and grateful that I know the difference and can take correction. I was just telling a dear friend that I ENJOY being disciplined. (no off color comments Crys! Lol) But really I do. The rod of correction in my life, accountability, rebuke, are welcomed here. It feels like I'm being, well, parented! Of course, that's because I AM being parented by the greatest parent of all. And the loving arms of discipline, as I tell my children, are a safe place to be!

So I confess and repent of my shortcomings and still stand strong in my conviction that I don't have to hide my personality. I've struggled with that for years and am finally getting comfortable in my own skin. I don't have to kneel on pencils in worry that I am overstepping my bounds. I simply must submit to the authority of God's Word, and live my life as an outpouring of my spirit.

I saw a bumper sticker today that said: "My religion is loving kindness."
A little new agey for me, but I can take some good from it. Too much Law and ye get legalism, too much freedom and ye get sin!
We must strike the perfect balance between Freedom in Christ and the Law.
That place is called heaven and until then, I strive to reach it.

Shalom ya'll.

How will I spend it?

When talking to a friend yesterday, she was telling me about how her husband equated any money she spent to her "spending his life". In other words, "If you spend that ten dollars, you've spent 1/2 hour of my life, is it worth it?" It spoke SO much to me and I am so convicted as my dh has told me the same thing for years but I always heard it as irritating. He didn't speak it so eloquently as I heard it yesterday but I know that is what MY dh meant! I am spending his very LIFE away every time I spend. When I overspend, I am causing him to spend more time away from his family. I have become more frugal since we moved here, but I can tell you, I will never spend again without thinking I spending the life of the man I love.
How will I spend it today?

Off the the Caribbean!

Well, the pirates are going anyway...

Jeff took S,R&L to Pirates of the Caribbean tonight for the (very exciting) 8pm sneak peek show. After making a hearty dinner of bbq chicken, yellow Spanish rice, fresh green beans and crusty french bread, they scooted off and K and I cleaned the kitchen and played. How strange to have just her and I. We looked at each other a lot like, "Um, where'd they go? What do we do now?" We played and laughed and hugged and tickled and now she is down and lo and behold, I can BLOG til' my heart's content!!!

True to form though, some amount of guilt sets in as I know I could be finishing organizing the back room or rearrange R's drawers as a surprise....

Alas, I shall take just a little more time for this.

Right after I put K down I heard the neighbor's dogs barking (again) so I went to the front porch to investigate! They have the property adjacent to ours and their driveway goes up the length of our property to the road. It seems they stop directly at our house and let those dogs bark away! But I know I just am more sensitive to it when Kate is sleeping. Why they bark up and down that driveway I'll never know. ANYway,
I stand, hands on hips to await the fierce predators to pass when I notice that the neighbors are carrying their garbage cans to the road for garbage pick up tomorrow.
Yikes! We have forgotten ours!
Funny how God can be in every detail if we let Him. I was all excited to get a cup of Joe and get blogging but I knew I had to get that trash out. So off I lug 4 cans and a HUGE box to the road just KNOWING my honey will pull in at 11:30 and say, "Wow! I LOVE that girl!"
His love language is acts of service but not all acts, strangely enough. An elaborate meal, clean clothes, a massage evokes nothing but a thank you. But to take the garbage out, weed the garden or help him in the yard with something? You'd think I had climbed Mount Everest for him.
So...what's a small mountain of trash mean to me anyway? More than one would think!

Thoughts on a husband...

Not many people have my blog address... thankfully.
As I continue to post I realize that this IS the diary or journal I never kept. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??? Ugh.
I never meant to post personal thoughts or feelings and yet somehow this forum has allowed me to do so...I guess I shouldn't try to censor it!

So, here it is. I am IN LOVE with my husband. Yep. Completely and TOTALLY in love. 15 years ago I fell in love with him and I am more in love with him today.

This is the kind of guy he is:

When we first met he wrote me notes, poems and letters. He would somehow find out where I was, BREAK INTO my car, (never could figure how he did that) and leave notes and flowers for me.
Once, on some holiday, when we had plans to meet early, he snuck up even earlier (he lived 1/2 hr. away) and left me flowers to wake up to..only to meet me soon after that anyway!)

For one birthday he took me to the beach where we walked for a MILE and then he offed to the bushes where there was "miraculously" a cooler with a split of champagne, candles, cheese and crackers and a book of constellations. He looked mine up and showed me where it was in the clear black sky. This may have been when I realized he was a keeper.

As time went on, he wrote "I love You" in the bottom of the pool with the vacuum.

Last Valentine's day he spun a string from the handle of the coffee pot to out the back door- with little attached notes saying "I love you" and "You're beautiful" only to end up in a big beautiful rose garden that he had planted after I had gone to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most recently I found a little paper heart inside my wedding ring that I often leave on our window sill.

If I could tear the stars down from the sky, I would do it for him.
Somehow, he has already done it for me...

Daddy's Home!

Well, the Dad rolled in today and I am SO glad! We have never been apart like we have this last year and it has been TOUGH. I made some Tilapia with lemon pepper and tomato basil and it was delish. He is currently watching Spider Man 2 with his girls after watching the babe climb the stairs and get reprimanded for biting Mom while nursing.

When he asked me to come watch the movie I told him I would come in and out like "rainbow sprinkles" (hear lilting harp music)
and he said, "Rainbow sprinkles are there at the beginning for effect and then they're gone."
(Blank stare from me knowing he's right)
"Ok" I said, "then YOU go be rainbow sprinkles, because you know you'll be asleep in ten minutes!"
All is good in the Clunn household....