To family integrate or not to family integrate...It is no question at all

I did a post on family integration yesterday but deleted it. Before anyone had read it. Or so I thought. ;) My thoughts were not succinct and I was having trouble expressing. So here goes again.

I just want to say that for us, family integration is a must that is backed by scripture. We not only shepard our kids hearts, we shepard their thoughts, attitudes and activities! We keep them from being exposed to behavior we do not approve of by sheparding, thereby minimizing the risk of their adopting such behavior.

We shepard until we are SURE that biblical truth is well ingrained and that spiritual fruit is being observed. Then, when they are exposed to behavior, attitudes or words we do not approve of, it is not only US who do not approve, but our children who do not approve either.
They will not be influenced then. They will do the influencing.

Even if our children will not join in bad behavior, we still do not want them exposed to it.
Trust me. There will be PLENTY of exposure in their lifetime. So those who you know who might say, "you can't protect them forever-you can't isolate-you can't keep them innocent forever" type of rhetoric, be sure to remember that they will get plenty of "toughening up" from the world. Why would we force it ANY time before absolutely necessary? A 7 year old does NOT need to know the ways of the world.

My 14 year old still gets involved in high play with my 7 and 10 year old. She can play with the rest of them. You better believe her thoughts and actions do NOT match up to the world's typical 14 year old. But further, she is set apart from even the typical mainstream Christian 14 year old. Because we shepard. She does not get farmed out to youth group where the MTV generation thrives. She has retained her innocence and- we are beginning to recognize, will maintain that innocence and take it with her into marriage and beyond! And that is sadly missing from a typically churched or Christian teenager.

Further, it is a biblical mandate that fathers teach their children. Put them under the authority of others and not only do you risk exposure to wrong behaviors, you also risk wrong teaching and you may also witness a subtle transfer of loyalty.

For us, keeping our kids with us is not just a choice, it is a vital and imperative part of our raising our children to the Glory of God. We keep checking the fruit of family integration and the fruit of the opposite and that old proverbial proof lies in the pudding!