Discipline

Tomorrow is our cover kid call out. 25 little darlings at Bonnie's house all vying for the cover. I sent out the info email today and Sloan said I was a tough cookie because of the line:
Please advise your little darling(s) to be patient and well behaved. I hear the editor of LFM is a stickler for that. ;)
She ALSO said that she was glad I was her mother.
Aha.

Tomorrow I will expound on a subject related to this at: http://www.coffeewiththeeditor.blogspot.com/
See you there!


But for now, the real deal.

This kid might be the most deviant of all undisciplined kids I know. I actually have a heart for misbehaving kids. I do. A kid attacked Sloan once in Kindergarten and became my personal heart throb throughout the rest of her public school experience.
If you have a kid who is unmanageable with a good heart, you can bet that I LOVE that kid.

But a disrespectful, hateful, spoiled brat is the kind of kid that I want to take on at: Clunn Boot Camp.
I swear, I bet I could really make some money changing lives by instituting simple truths like ultimate authority.

This kid who is OLD enough to way know better even without discipline, punched Kate in the stomach, knocked her down HARD (three different times that we caught her) hit her over the head with a big toy and hit her face on the ground after she knocked her down.

The mom was like, "Did you do this? Kid says, "No." Mom says, "Do you promise?" Kid says, "Yes."

We all stand there incredulously as the Mom says, "Well, she says she didn't do it."

Well, this is a little bit of only child syndrome and a lot "we don't have any idea how to parent syndrome" .


I had a chance to discipline her privately that night when I had to leave her and Kate in a room together. Kate was in her high chair. The other kid was at the living room table.

In my low, calm voice that freaks Sloan out I say:

Me: Do not touch Kate. Do you understand me?
Kid: Yes
Me: Yes ma'am.
Kid Yes Ma'am.
Me: Do not get near Kate. Do you understand me?
Kid: Yes.
Me: Yes Ma'am.
Kid: Yes Ma'am.
Me: Keep your hands to yourself. Do you understand me? We do not hit in this house.
Kid: Yes Ma'am.

That is exactly how it went.

The kid stopped eating and came into where the adults were to lament around the mother. The kid eyed me as if she were about to tell that I beat her but I eyed her right back as if to say GO AHEAD.

All kids learn that I am tough and fair and LOVING. That is why kids like me. Kids RESPECT and RESPOND to authority. They LIKE IT when someone notices and cares that they are doing something wrong. Even if they are not used to it. They get used to it quick because deep inside God planted in them the desire to know Him.

So she threatened me with her gaze for sometime while I remained unmoved.

Soon, we were all milling around and she wanted Kate to come play with her. (she is 5, Kate is 2)
I got down on my knee and looked her straight in the eye.
"Are you saying you want Kate to come play with you?" I ask in a tone that conveys our prior conversation.
And she responds: "Yes, I promise I won't hit anyone anymore. I will not hit."

So I let Kate go with a close eye.

Discipline works. The excuse that your line is different than mine will only work when it comes to superfluous things. If disrespect, bad attitude, hitting, sarcasm, being too big their breeches, or any other ungodly quality is allowed, then that ceases being an up for discussion line and becomes (let alone sin) a kid no one wants to be around.

The funny thing? The next day they had to drop by to pick something up that they forgot. Kate came running out again arms extended, ready to love, and stopped short of the kid, remembering all of a sudden, "is this kid safe?"

After the initial hello and some outside play, Kate ran back in and the kid followed her. Nary 2 minutes passed when the screaming ensued and Kate was found on the floor with the kid standing over her claiming innocence.

At some point, Mama Lion kicks in.

And that's it for me. While I won't give this kid another chance around my child, I am glad Jesus will. And I hope beyond hope, that her wonderful parents will see the terrible and foretelling error of their ways.

We all have discipline issues with our kids. But if yours get to the embarrassing, hurtful, disrespectful or dangerous side of it, there are ways to fix it. You must be consistent. You must be firm. You must be persistent. Yes, you MUST win this battle.

Here are just a few basic indicators that a child is sorely lacking discipline.

Your child dares to tell you "no".
Your child talks back to you.
Your child has no problem being rude to you or others.
Your child has no healthy fear (respect) of your authority. In other words, is not worried what might befall him for committing a punishable offense.
Your child throws a tantrum.
ESPECIALLY if your child throws a tantrum in front of others. (should not be throwing one either way but if they are able to comfortably do so in front of others, it shows a worse problem.)
Your child hits.
Your child won't mind you.
Your child raises their voice to you. Can you imagine a teen ager yelling at you? I think not.
Your child acts or speaks in too mature a fashion in a way that is not appropriate. (embarrassing you, calling you out, challenging you in front of others)
Your child feels comfortable speaking to another adult disrespectfully.(man, does that one continue to floor me.)


These are just some of the ways you can know that your child is headed toward becoming, or at least looking like, that thing we call "public schooled" kids.

Maturity means responsibility and respect, not acting 15 when their 8.

And hey- I am not eyeing your kid and sizing them up behaviorally speaking. I have enough to do. Trust me. I am just saying that if your kid is doing any or all of these things on a regular basis, then it IS noticeable to others and you likely have a discipline problem of one kind or another.

God's Word says that if you do not discipline your child, then you do not love them.

Take it up with Him, not me.