...Feeling Christmasy but broke. How about you?
...'Stupid me' dared to put a message on the HS message board about LFM and asked readers to chime in about it...no one did. THAT hurt. But I guess it is a chance you take! Homeschoolers! They are NOT exactly NORMAL people...lol I know that these people read and like it so....I GUESS I could TRY to appease myself with the idea that it WAS a holiday. Sheesh. I never plug the mag there either.
...We ended up getting Rach a really extravagant gift that was SO on sale today with a free major accessory. UGH. I DESPISE consumerism but often find myself a willing participant...WHY?
...Heather C. has me convinced about Tivo (if it has the same great rebate she got)...if I see one more disgusting commercial that is trying to teach my kids that sex sells, I will bash the thing in with a stick.
Fast forwarding through smut? Priceless!
(forget that consumerism thing, this one may actually be WORTH it!)
...I am SICK of the leftovers...how can they taste SO good on the day they are created...but by Saturday...no thanks? Smells like day old manna to me.
Kids got pizza last night.
...I watched a great story on CNN called "America's Killer Diet" I am going to try to get it on tape. Everytime something like that affects me I think of Tif and how she says she doesn't need "one more thing telling her she is doing something wrong" but I can't help feel that this one is SO important. We are doing nothing less than POISONING our kids and acting like we are actually NOURSISHING them. How do we break this diffcult cycle? This story was SO SO SO good that I even finally realized that just a 1 tsp of trans fat per day can increase your risk of heart disease by 25%...that transfat is in EVERYTHING...including the "better" oils that they claimed to have switched to...french fries, you know the stuff...in ONE serving per day which a lot of our kids have more of per day as you know...ok, you get the picture.
You do NOT want to know the average sugar intake of a typical American kid...
...I just gave two Milk Duds to Kate.
...I am liking my kitties more. It might be because I am entertaining the idea of a dog...but the kitties sure are seeming better to me. They are really sweet!
...Good segway....Do you ever find yourself playing the "role" of x, y or z just BECAUSE? That is a weird woman trait...I play the "I don't like animals" role...which is weird, since I LOVE animals. But I know where it came from. I had three kitties before I had Sloan...soon I started feeling weird about them (the germy thing) then HAD her and was DONE caring much about the kitties...I think OVER loving animals is weird and it could be argued, unbiblical.
But anyway, that role just kept on and I exaggerated it since it was my "role" and lately I have been enjoying the kitties and the kids are FREAKED out when I pet, talk, love one or let them in. (Fleas are my sworn enemy so they are not in much) But I must admit by my loving the animals I have seen a fond and new appreciation in my kids eyes for me...that was a little sad but still good. Can you imagine in a kid's mind?
"My Mommy doesn't like: Fluffy, Snowball, Foo Foo, Tiger, Misty...etc. etc."
Yeah, I guess I better keep giving them a pet here and there...
...LFM is going to be in the Tavares Parade! Not that YOU my non commenting homeschoolers would care....but we are excited and have a GREAT theme! Only one of you know (you special girl! Shhh) but actually, who cares? I am confused at why everyone keeps their floats a secret. I'll take a couple of pics and share in a subsequent post our building of the thing. We can see this would be a fun annual event...man, even just a family float would be fun. We are having fun building ours.
...I have found my first feeling of bitterness over something and it is freaking me out. I have not ever harbored lasting bitterness so it is new to me and I am now finding that I cannot seem to release this very small thing. How do I do this? I find it lessens my opinion of this very important person in my life each time I think about it...I want to release it but it really was NOT fair in a (pretty) big way (a promise broken) and I don't know how to act like it didn't matter?
I mean, I FORGIVE them, that is not the issue, I just think that acting like it doesn't matter is impossible? I am not a Christian Idiot. (wow another post) I know life is not fair, and the blood covers all...I am talking PRACTICAL APPLICATION here...HOW to do it is my question? My heart is willing...but I cannot seem to get over it! Anyone have any experience with this and some good answers? Really now, this is nuts and I am glad that it I got to 40 to ever feel this way when I have seen others suffer for lifetimes with it but WOW, what a waste of time. I mean, really. I am glad HE is taking me to the woodshed over it though. I cannot imagine someone who suffers from the sin of bitterness...I mean, I suffer from my own sin, but this one seems to occupy a LOT of time, sheesh, I have enough to think about. How to bitter people do it? Wow. I am yet thankful again. (P.S. For all of you who are more concerned with the THING and you know who you are, NO it is not a life shattering deal like infidelity or whatever....it is LITTLE and that is the WHOLE point! I could understand BIG, but little? Why?)
...Have I ever mentioned to you about Jeff's and my theory about how the execs at Arm & Hammer baking soda company must have sat up in the board room drinking 30 year old Scotch and laughing their butts off as they came up with the marketing plan to tell us to POUR IT DOWN THE SINK????
...Can someone explain to me about a "safe room" for kids? I have heard many speak of it (I think Marissa did this) but we always just taught the kids not to touch: poison, knives, the stove, glass, breakables, etc etc...it always worked and YES it works with Kate too...but I am intrigued with the idea of an ENTIRE room that I could put her in (with gate) where she could play freely for an hour at a time without worrying? I do not think this is possible. What say you?
...I ordered new math curriculum that I oohed and ahhed over on the HS message board, again, to no response.
...I do not feel supported by my board. Lol
...I often still need my "Mom" but never had one that I could 'need' and get responded to in that way. So I need to be careful not to turn into that with my own kids. You know, they come to hug you and you say: GET OFF ME. No, I can be better than that.
As soon as they GET OFF ME. Lol
...I would like to have my breasts back. Nursing should be outlawed by TWO. Seriously.
That bottle doesn't seem like such a bad idea right about now. No seriously, I kind have moved to the: "Okay, by THREE she is done, but THAT'S IT!" (an I mean it, really!)
...I miss Cheryl.
...And Crystal.
And soon, Marissa. (Boohoo 'stead of Woohoo Calvary Chapel Goers)
...I am currently desiring an immaculate house, hair-always-brushed kids, homeschool organization and a full blown staff for the magazine.
Anyone have Santa's number? I've seemed to have misplaced it...
...I am considering not going to church tomorrow for no good reason and I know where that comes from. I am being RIDICULOUSLY honest here so no judgement. Especially since I know EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU have felt similarly...too bad for Pastors, they can NEVER get out of it. So really chide me if I don't show...but in a good and loving way that says I love you sister, not get your arse to church you sinner.
...Wow, that reminds me...I got over my inner crazy post...realizing that I really am NOT that bad...I mean, we all know the whole "break one letter of the law and you've broken it all" scripture...but really, I think I may really be harder on myself than need be...I will learn to love myself as much as I love others...ok, that's a lie. But I will TRY.
...Kate is currently playing Geo-Genius III and I hear her saying: AlASka, WyOMing, AriZOna...
...That last one give me an inkling that stream of thought-like posts are likely where the Woman's Day Book type posts came from. The Daybook one is just more structured...hmph. (That last Kate post would have been: "Sounds I hear from the other room" or whatever...)I guess I shall TRY to tolerate them better.
...I still love coffee and hope you will all support with initial MEGA commenting on my new blog: "Coffee with the Editor" which will be an open blog and one that will have a 'soft open' on Monday.
Can anyone tell me what the grammatical rule is for one dash quotes or two?
Shalom Ya'll!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Wrap Up
Well, it was a day of...FOOD. Lol I took a photo-journal, ever thinking of YOU dear bloggers, I hope you did the same!
Is any Thanksgiving complete without the pilgrims? But more importantly, Rachel made this beautiful sunflower napkin holder out of polymer clay...gracious I love that girl.
Setting the table...
This is the first year that I REALLY taught Rachel the ins and outs (so to speak) of the meal. It was little but IMPORTANT things like splitting the stuffing into two bowls...one being the bowl that you used to stuff the turkey with so that the spoon that went into the turkey stayed SEPARATE than the one that we ate directly out of!
Without Daddy....
moving things around is A LOT harder!
The beginnings of famous deviled eggs!
Next three are of "We are so hungry we can't wait!" food..we always have appetizers a couple of hours before...no time to make lunch so we make little snackies...
I confess this is the FIRST time I left a prayer to take a picture... I don't think I am going to hell for catching Kate looking so sweet..It was totally worth it.
Here it comes!
The bird!
And all the fixin's!
The girls were excited to get sparking grape juice for the first time...I had to go out and buy glasses for the occasion. $2.97 at Wally...MAN that was worth it!
Daddy never has anything has to drink but had a little champagne tonight...
and looks happy about it. Lol
Mmm Mmm good!
This might be the best pic I have seen lately...we had such a fun dinner!
I always cook on Thanksgiving....but the REALLY great thing is I don't make the kids help clean up...now you may not get this, but our kids RUN the house...our goal biblically, is to have each girl by 13, able to fully run the house. All of it. Think we are tough? Nah...Americans are just SOFT. Our girls want and do and ARE fully capable and are not slaves...America has SOFTENED the Christian...to ridiculous standards...but that is for another post.
My POINT is that they do it everyday. But on THIS day, when it is SO big a mess(since I evidently don't cook "clean" as the experts say) I clean it all on my own.
Wow. Whew. But really? No problem. I am SO thankful for them...and all that they are already capable of. More than 5 times tonight (literally), the girls came in trying to stop me from cleaning so they could do it..but no, no, I shooed them away...it is my gift to them.
And see? I made it...and it wasn't so bad...
I love each amazing gem I have and wish you all the best of days from here and into the new year. I love YOU!
Is any Thanksgiving complete without the pilgrims? But more importantly, Rachel made this beautiful sunflower napkin holder out of polymer clay...gracious I love that girl.
Setting the table...
This is the first year that I REALLY taught Rachel the ins and outs (so to speak) of the meal. It was little but IMPORTANT things like splitting the stuffing into two bowls...one being the bowl that you used to stuff the turkey with so that the spoon that went into the turkey stayed SEPARATE than the one that we ate directly out of!
Without Daddy....moving things around is A LOT harder!
The beginnings of famous deviled eggs!
Next three are of "We are so hungry we can't wait!" food..we always have appetizers a couple of hours before...no time to make lunch so we make little snackies...
I confess this is the FIRST time I left a prayer to take a picture... I don't think I am going to hell for catching Kate looking so sweet..It was totally worth it.
Here it comes!
The bird!
And all the fixin's!
The girls were excited to get sparking grape juice for the first time...I had to go out and buy glasses for the occasion. $2.97 at Wally...MAN that was worth it!
Daddy never has anything has to drink but had a little champagne tonight...
and looks happy about it. Lol
Mmm Mmm good!
This might be the best pic I have seen lately...we had such a fun dinner!
I always cook on Thanksgiving....but the REALLY great thing is I don't make the kids help clean up...now you may not get this, but our kids RUN the house...our goal biblically, is to have each girl by 13, able to fully run the house. All of it. Think we are tough? Nah...Americans are just SOFT. Our girls want and do and ARE fully capable and are not slaves...America has SOFTENED the Christian...to ridiculous standards...but that is for another post.
My POINT is that they do it everyday. But on THIS day, when it is SO big a mess(since I evidently don't cook "clean" as the experts say) I clean it all on my own.
Wow. Whew. But really? No problem. I am SO thankful for them...and all that they are already capable of. More than 5 times tonight (literally), the girls came in trying to stop me from cleaning so they could do it..but no, no, I shooed them away...it is my gift to them.
And see? I made it...and it wasn't so bad...
I love each amazing gem I have and wish you all the best of days from here and into the new year. I love YOU!
Thankful for Family
I don't get a chance to post many pics of my brother Rich and nephews Payden (red shorts) and Preston (black vest) but here is one that my wonderful sil Crystal sent me...My cousin in California is making a calendar for our Grandmother there (my Mom's Mom) with all the kids and grandkids...so Crystal sent me this one among some others..My point is that today I am still and ever thankful for family...at church the other day I had to speak on what I was thankful for and I was thankful for family. I do not know what my current obsession with family is except that it stems perhaps from an intense desire that I've always had for close extended family which I have not.
Both Rich and I would have thrived in such an environment but it was not to be. I cannot wait for our girls to grow and marry and then be able to supply the rich tapestry of the beginnings of healthy (?) extended family. Where kids and sons-in-law come and go and call me Mom and pick at the food I am cooking and get their hands slapped and hug me from behind and can get in the fridge without asking. Grandkids everywhere and my kids fighting over whose turn it is for Grandma to babysit this weekend and me saying "Don't worry, EVERYONE can come!"
Yep, I cannot wait to BE extended family for someone since I could not have one of my own.
Crystal is a big part of why my brother and I even are still connected (and if you are reading this Rich, I mean it in LOVE) but Crystal and I are the connectors between the only two existing siblings in my family.
So don't divorce him Crystal. Haha
Thankful for my girls and hubby and Rich Crys and the boys today.
Pics of meal tonight! Don't forget to take pics of YOUR meal!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
No good thing
Ok, you guys must not be reading Jon's stuff when I post it 'cuz booty-God-booty is just too bloomin' good!
Ok, so I am convinced that there TRULY is no good thing in me. This is not a lament post but literally the truth.
The more I want to do unto the Lord the more it seems I do not! I WANT to but I mess it up.
I know this is Paul's wretched man syndrome but it seems that it is lately killing me.
I need a sign that says" Hello, I am Christian Screw-Up"
I am a power communicator. ON every issue I think it up, think it down, think it 12 ways to Tuesday and then explain it, in detail...in triplicate and delivered to someone's front door if asked but unfortunately more commonly, if NOT asked.
Now WHY do I do that? I feel this intense need to EXPLAIN, to DIALOGUE, to EXAMINE.
That's it. Examine. That is what it is. Then I am convinced it is sin related.
Is it pride?
Is it anger?
Is it bitterness?
Is it impatience?
Again, before any weird, "You are not that bad" comments..that is not what I am trying to say...it is just literally where I go in my head...am I the only one who does this? It is EXHAUSTING!
I strive for holiness, I get holiness with holes. BIg ones. Rips. You know...
So then I think, ok, what is the sin issue for this, for that...why can I not do the things I want to do....
my head is FILLED and AWAKENED in ways in never has been before...
Is it the new areas my brain is exploring because I am using it in new ways or kickin' the dust off the old pathways? So many new relationships...ideas...
Do I sound crazy?
No, THIS is crazy. Trying to explain this in an email and pressing SEND.
That my friends is crazy. I rant and rave and then I get a "Really? You don't SEEM that way."
Lol. WOW. WHY do I have to reach out to virtual strangers (and let's face it, that is all of YOU..yes you can never really know a man's mind...right? Isn't that how the scripture goes? We THINK we know each other...we fall into some comfortable level of existence with one another and then BOOM drop some bombshell on someone and really expect them to just "handle it") expecting them to "get it" or want to examine life back with me?
They are just like,"Wow, she is a crazy person and I need to just get her off emailing ME."
Gosh it is humiliating.
I do not want wretched man syndrome. I do not want to WANT to do good and then NOT be able to do it. Or mess it up. Somehow no matter how I slice it, this just does not seem fair. The idea that He will build in us the desire to do good but then build us NOT to succeed at it. Nice.
I am not a perfectionist..really. Anyone who has seen my house knows that.
I have imperfect ideas , hopes, dreams, kids, home, beliefs. I get it. I Can deal with that.
But the consistent need to examine it and explore it and then DISCUSS it needs to quit.
Sound a bit narcissistic? No, that is not it. I just want some proof and peace that my imperfect walk is somehow made perfect in God's eyes.
I DESIRE to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant" but I know I am not doing it well!!!!
To all I have emailed/called/written or blown smoke signals to with detailed personal information expecting you to "get it", I apologize.
Please forgive me. I won't make that mistake anymore. I hope. I'll try not to. Likely I will fail at that as well. But I'll try. Promise.
And to the Lord I say, I am sorry. Sorry that I am so wretchedly imperfect. That in my broken ridiculous excuse for a Christian, you will find some. good. thing. in.me.
Release me Lord if you will, from the knowledge that I am such a wretched woman!
That in my striving for holiness...even in your strength not mine, I will fail because it makes me reliant upon YOU for forgiveness. Keeps my eye on YOU for the knowledge that without you I have no good thing. Keeps my humble...keeps my seeking...keeps me striving ultimately for the freedom from this world and heavenly perfection with you.
Sigh. Off to buy turkey...I hate to leave you on such a weird note.
Suffice to say, I am almost getting used to the idea that I cannot be who I want to be...
I am who I am. And maybe the answer is just to be a little more ok with myself...but then I think...but that is where complacency sets in.
Ok, do you think I am nuts or what? Don't answer that. Ha ha ha...The ultimate revenge against if you need revenge...ignore me. Lol Or leave a comment that says: Really? You're fine. Yep, that must be pride. UGH.
Hey, this almost sounds like a crazy Ann Marie rant!
OMG (and by G, I mean gracious. lol) did I just hit SEND again?
NOTE: Getting dressed to go out, the song popped into my head and is blaring as we speak: Your Grace is enough, Your Grace is enough, Your Grace is enough for-r me!
God is good....ALL the time!
Ok, so I am convinced that there TRULY is no good thing in me. This is not a lament post but literally the truth.
The more I want to do unto the Lord the more it seems I do not! I WANT to but I mess it up.
I know this is Paul's wretched man syndrome but it seems that it is lately killing me.
I need a sign that says" Hello, I am Christian Screw-Up"
I am a power communicator. ON every issue I think it up, think it down, think it 12 ways to Tuesday and then explain it, in detail...in triplicate and delivered to someone's front door if asked but unfortunately more commonly, if NOT asked.
Now WHY do I do that? I feel this intense need to EXPLAIN, to DIALOGUE, to EXAMINE.
That's it. Examine. That is what it is. Then I am convinced it is sin related.
Is it pride?
Is it anger?
Is it bitterness?
Is it impatience?
Again, before any weird, "You are not that bad" comments..that is not what I am trying to say...it is just literally where I go in my head...am I the only one who does this? It is EXHAUSTING!
I strive for holiness, I get holiness with holes. BIg ones. Rips. You know...
So then I think, ok, what is the sin issue for this, for that...why can I not do the things I want to do....
my head is FILLED and AWAKENED in ways in never has been before...
Is it the new areas my brain is exploring because I am using it in new ways or kickin' the dust off the old pathways? So many new relationships...ideas...
Do I sound crazy?
No, THIS is crazy. Trying to explain this in an email and pressing SEND.
That my friends is crazy. I rant and rave and then I get a "Really? You don't SEEM that way."
Lol. WOW. WHY do I have to reach out to virtual strangers (and let's face it, that is all of YOU..yes you can never really know a man's mind...right? Isn't that how the scripture goes? We THINK we know each other...we fall into some comfortable level of existence with one another and then BOOM drop some bombshell on someone and really expect them to just "handle it") expecting them to "get it" or want to examine life back with me?
They are just like,"Wow, she is a crazy person and I need to just get her off emailing ME."
Gosh it is humiliating.
I do not want wretched man syndrome. I do not want to WANT to do good and then NOT be able to do it. Or mess it up. Somehow no matter how I slice it, this just does not seem fair. The idea that He will build in us the desire to do good but then build us NOT to succeed at it. Nice.
I am not a perfectionist..really. Anyone who has seen my house knows that.
I have imperfect ideas , hopes, dreams, kids, home, beliefs. I get it. I Can deal with that.
But the consistent need to examine it and explore it and then DISCUSS it needs to quit.
Sound a bit narcissistic? No, that is not it. I just want some proof and peace that my imperfect walk is somehow made perfect in God's eyes.
I DESIRE to hear "Well done, good and faithful servant" but I know I am not doing it well!!!!
To all I have emailed/called/written or blown smoke signals to with detailed personal information expecting you to "get it", I apologize.
Please forgive me. I won't make that mistake anymore. I hope. I'll try not to. Likely I will fail at that as well. But I'll try. Promise.
And to the Lord I say, I am sorry. Sorry that I am so wretchedly imperfect. That in my broken ridiculous excuse for a Christian, you will find some. good. thing. in.me.
Release me Lord if you will, from the knowledge that I am such a wretched woman!
That in my striving for holiness...even in your strength not mine, I will fail because it makes me reliant upon YOU for forgiveness. Keeps my eye on YOU for the knowledge that without you I have no good thing. Keeps my humble...keeps my seeking...keeps me striving ultimately for the freedom from this world and heavenly perfection with you.
Sigh. Off to buy turkey...I hate to leave you on such a weird note.
Suffice to say, I am almost getting used to the idea that I cannot be who I want to be...
I am who I am. And maybe the answer is just to be a little more ok with myself...but then I think...but that is where complacency sets in.
Ok, do you think I am nuts or what? Don't answer that. Ha ha ha...The ultimate revenge against if you need revenge...ignore me. Lol Or leave a comment that says: Really? You're fine. Yep, that must be pride. UGH.
Hey, this almost sounds like a crazy Ann Marie rant!
OMG (and by G, I mean gracious. lol) did I just hit SEND again?
NOTE: Getting dressed to go out, the song popped into my head and is blaring as we speak: Your Grace is enough, Your Grace is enough, Your Grace is enough for-r me!
God is good....ALL the time!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Booty-God-Booty
(More Jon Goodness)
#113. Booty, God, Booty.
In Atlanta, my favorite radio station is V103, the “People’s Station.”It's a hip hop station that plays mostly rap and R&B. The best part of V103 is their morning show.
Everyday when I’m driving to work they do what they call an “Inspirational Vitamin.” They read a Bible verse and play a gospel song or a clip by a charismatic minister from Atlanta. I honestly find it to be an uplifting experience overall. The thing I find most interesting however is how they wedge the Inspirational Vitamin into their normal programming.
What often happens is that right before they transition to the spiritual segment of the show they play some sort of booty song. Let’s say, “I’m in love wit a stripper.” Then they do the Bible verse and then they go back to booty music when it’s over. The essentially bookend the Inspirational Vitamin with booty, following a fairly simple formula – Booty, God, Booty.
It’s easy to laugh at how insincere that Inspirational Vitamin seems when it’s sandwiched between hardcore rap songs, but to do so misses the bigger point – we Christians often live our lives the same way. Maybe God is listening to the broadcast of my day and this is what he hears: Quiet time in the morning. Read the Bible, prayer, give thanks. Go into work and act completely different and disconnected from God. Come home. Spend time with wife. Read the Bible, pray.
Chances are, that to many outside listeners, the format of my life is just as out of synch as the people station’s “booty, God, booty.” It might not be as graphic or as neon, but the juxtaposition between who I am when I’m in “God mode” and who I am when I’m in work mode is pretty substantial. I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before from other Christian writers, but next time you transition between two parts of your day, think to yourself, “Did I just go booty, God, booty?”
If nothing else, it’s a fun phrase to say.
#113. Booty, God, Booty.
In Atlanta, my favorite radio station is V103, the “People’s Station.”It's a hip hop station that plays mostly rap and R&B. The best part of V103 is their morning show.
Everyday when I’m driving to work they do what they call an “Inspirational Vitamin.” They read a Bible verse and play a gospel song or a clip by a charismatic minister from Atlanta. I honestly find it to be an uplifting experience overall. The thing I find most interesting however is how they wedge the Inspirational Vitamin into their normal programming.
What often happens is that right before they transition to the spiritual segment of the show they play some sort of booty song. Let’s say, “I’m in love wit a stripper.” Then they do the Bible verse and then they go back to booty music when it’s over. The essentially bookend the Inspirational Vitamin with booty, following a fairly simple formula – Booty, God, Booty.
It’s easy to laugh at how insincere that Inspirational Vitamin seems when it’s sandwiched between hardcore rap songs, but to do so misses the bigger point – we Christians often live our lives the same way. Maybe God is listening to the broadcast of my day and this is what he hears: Quiet time in the morning. Read the Bible, prayer, give thanks. Go into work and act completely different and disconnected from God. Come home. Spend time with wife. Read the Bible, pray.
Chances are, that to many outside listeners, the format of my life is just as out of synch as the people station’s “booty, God, booty.” It might not be as graphic or as neon, but the juxtaposition between who I am when I’m in “God mode” and who I am when I’m in work mode is pretty substantial. I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before from other Christian writers, but next time you transition between two parts of your day, think to yourself, “Did I just go booty, God, booty?”
If nothing else, it’s a fun phrase to say.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Dec issue Va Va Voom!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am NOT kidding! This is the best looking issue ever! I can't wait for you all to see it!
It is FANTASTIC! Be sure to read the editor's note for a tease about Izzy B's article next month and note the two contests for kids!
1. Find the LFM bear is new....
2. Word Unscramble on back inside cover
and well, feel FREE to GUSH all you want!!!!!!!!!
Each issue is like a new little baby to love on and share.
I am truly nuts. I get it. But I can't help it.
If you had ANY idea how much work it was, you would understand!
I will bring some to church tonight if we make it...
and of course I'll drop some to Tif and Am like I do every month.
Yep, they rate to-the-door delivery.
Thanks for your support guys! You always make me feel so good about it!
I am NOT kidding! This is the best looking issue ever! I can't wait for you all to see it!
It is FANTASTIC! Be sure to read the editor's note for a tease about Izzy B's article next month and note the two contests for kids!
1. Find the LFM bear is new....
2. Word Unscramble on back inside cover
and well, feel FREE to GUSH all you want!!!!!!!!!
Each issue is like a new little baby to love on and share.
I am truly nuts. I get it. But I can't help it.
If you had ANY idea how much work it was, you would understand!
I will bring some to church tonight if we make it...
and of course I'll drop some to Tif and Am like I do every month.
Yep, they rate to-the-door delivery.
Thanks for your support guys! You always make me feel so good about it!
Javalujah!
Ok, I stole this one off my blog-in-the-making so you will see it repeated but just had to it was so good.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Blogging Fool
Wow. Have you ever seen me blog so much? While all of you fabulous people are out with your kids at the park, backyard or heck, even in front of the tube...I have been parked in front of the computer having discovered a different world of blogging. The world of "oh yes, there are some really hilarious and interesting blogs out there".
Now to qualify, and in the world of qualifying, this makes the innermost galaxy to be sure, YOUR blogs are interesting and hilarious. Even if they are NOT and are completely boring (I dare you)
I am STILL interested because I KNOW you. So blogs by people you personally know do not count in what I am saying.
I am talking about stranger's blogs. I have peeked around a bit...especially at the beginning of my blogging but found NOTHING that could hold my interest until of course, stuffchristianslike (how am I doin' Cheryl?!? I think: mastery is close! Can't figure out the target thing still though...)
but anyway, YES, I have found amazing other blogs. None beats Jon's though....but here are a few fun ones.
Stacey from Louisville (fun though I haven't read too much of her, she just seems great)
The Big Picture (for news junkies, VERY cool. News in one picture and a blurb)
(The Customer is) Not Always Right (funny real conversations with crazy customers)
97 Seconds With God (one of Jon's three blogs and a darn good one at that..about God moments)
And this last one I won't be visiting but I came across it and it is the whole weirdo thing...you know, I am not into weirdo things. I mean, I am not. I like to think I am this big adventurous girl but I am not) Cuss and I won't listen to you. Cross the line and I lose respect. Sometimes I PURPOSELY do it to see if...I don't know what, God strikes me dead? So I can be cool? To make others know that I am regular chick who is a Christian? I don't know. But I caught myself doing with Cheryl on the phone the other day by saying "P...d off" and writing the word "cr*p" on my blog which got taken off pretty quick and replaced with the word "dialogue" which let's face it, is a much more interesting and descriptive word that cr*p. And actually it might have passed but Sloan saw it and she was like, uh Mom, I cannot believe you put that word on your blog (sheesh that whole ROLE MODEL thing again) but I tell you because if she is cringing at 15 at that word then you likely know I raised them NOT being cussers. But I ultimately took it off because I somehow I felt it lessened my blog and me. Ridiculous I know. Just being honest. And yes, I know that there are other cuss words on my blog and yes, the big boob pic which I actually had to email Tif on to be sure it wasn't pornographic because I didn't mean it that way but if others viewed it that way then what kind of a Christian, Mom, Wife, Editor of Kids Magazine would I be with porn on my blog? Thankfully, she said I was good. Though why I consulted an admitted third grade potty humor expert on that perplexes me a bit. lol Just kidding...she is part of my "board". Can you believe I have a BOARD? But anyway, this one makes me feel guilty reading it and I am afraid I am going to come across something really bad so I looked once, read a bit and moved on.
And I imagine that preface is sort of like taking the clumpy milk carton out and taking a big whiff and then handing it your hubby and saying, "Ewwwww, smell this!"
So without further adieu....I give you......
Post Secret (no link so it gives you one last chance not to rubber neck)
An ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.
Yeah, you can imagine. Nah, it's not THAT bad at all really.
But anyway, Jon (get used to his name cuz he's going to be around for awhile) has inspired me to take my blogging to a new level. Because you know, all that extra time I spoke of earlier...
So I am branching out with some other blogs...one in particular. When it develops just a little more, I will open it. It will be an open blog and connected with the magazine though not necessarily ABOUT the magazine.
Anyway, it will be interesting to see how and if and when and why and what the heck it's all for but I am excited. Wondering if I can manage an open blog that gains readers because there is a responsibility to post I think IF you gain readers. And of course there is no telling if that will happen or not anyway.
Ya'll don't interact with me enough on here though....regular commenters not included, so an open blog should be an interesting diversion. Because I need diversion, don't I?
Now to qualify, and in the world of qualifying, this makes the innermost galaxy to be sure, YOUR blogs are interesting and hilarious. Even if they are NOT and are completely boring (I dare you)
I am STILL interested because I KNOW you. So blogs by people you personally know do not count in what I am saying.
I am talking about stranger's blogs. I have peeked around a bit...especially at the beginning of my blogging but found NOTHING that could hold my interest until of course, stuffchristianslike (how am I doin' Cheryl?!? I think: mastery is close! Can't figure out the target thing still though...)
but anyway, YES, I have found amazing other blogs. None beats Jon's though....but here are a few fun ones.
Stacey from Louisville (fun though I haven't read too much of her, she just seems great)
The Big Picture (for news junkies, VERY cool. News in one picture and a blurb)
(The Customer is) Not Always Right (funny real conversations with crazy customers)
97 Seconds With God (one of Jon's three blogs and a darn good one at that..about God moments)
And this last one I won't be visiting but I came across it and it is the whole weirdo thing...you know, I am not into weirdo things. I mean, I am not. I like to think I am this big adventurous girl but I am not) Cuss and I won't listen to you. Cross the line and I lose respect. Sometimes I PURPOSELY do it to see if...I don't know what, God strikes me dead? So I can be cool? To make others know that I am regular chick who is a Christian? I don't know. But I caught myself doing with Cheryl on the phone the other day by saying "P...d off" and writing the word "cr*p" on my blog which got taken off pretty quick and replaced with the word "dialogue" which let's face it, is a much more interesting and descriptive word that cr*p. And actually it might have passed but Sloan saw it and she was like, uh Mom, I cannot believe you put that word on your blog (sheesh that whole ROLE MODEL thing again) but I tell you because if she is cringing at 15 at that word then you likely know I raised them NOT being cussers. But I ultimately took it off because I somehow I felt it lessened my blog and me. Ridiculous I know. Just being honest. And yes, I know that there are other cuss words on my blog and yes, the big boob pic which I actually had to email Tif on to be sure it wasn't pornographic because I didn't mean it that way but if others viewed it that way then what kind of a Christian, Mom, Wife, Editor of Kids Magazine would I be with porn on my blog? Thankfully, she said I was good. Though why I consulted an admitted third grade potty humor expert on that perplexes me a bit. lol Just kidding...she is part of my "board". Can you believe I have a BOARD? But anyway, this one makes me feel guilty reading it and I am afraid I am going to come across something really bad so I looked once, read a bit and moved on.
And I imagine that preface is sort of like taking the clumpy milk carton out and taking a big whiff and then handing it your hubby and saying, "Ewwwww, smell this!"
So without further adieu....I give you......
Post Secret (no link so it gives you one last chance not to rubber neck)
An ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.
Yeah, you can imagine. Nah, it's not THAT bad at all really.
But anyway, Jon (get used to his name cuz he's going to be around for awhile) has inspired me to take my blogging to a new level. Because you know, all that extra time I spoke of earlier...
So I am branching out with some other blogs...one in particular. When it develops just a little more, I will open it. It will be an open blog and connected with the magazine though not necessarily ABOUT the magazine.
Anyway, it will be interesting to see how and if and when and why and what the heck it's all for but I am excited. Wondering if I can manage an open blog that gains readers because there is a responsibility to post I think IF you gain readers. And of course there is no telling if that will happen or not anyway.
Ya'll don't interact with me enough on here though....regular commenters not included, so an open blog should be an interesting diversion. Because I need diversion, don't I?
Booty-God- Booty
Thursday, April 3, 2008
#113. Booty, God, Booty.
In Atlanta, my favorite radio station is V103, the “People’s Station.”
It's a hip hop station that plays mostly rap and R&B. The best part of V103 is their morning show. Everyday when I’m driving to work they do what they call an “Inspirational Vitamin.” They read a Bible verse and play a gospel song or a clip by a charismatic minister from Atlanta. I honestly find it to be an uplifting experience overall. The thing I find most interesting however is how they wedge the Inspirational Vitamin into their normal programming. What often happens is that right before they transition to the spiritual segment of the show they play some sort of booty song. Let’s say, “I’m in love wit a stripper.” Then they do the Bible verse and then they go back to booty music when it’s over. The essentially bookend the Inspirational Vitamin with booty, following a fairly simple formula – Booty, God, Booty.
It’s easy to laugh at how insincere that Inspirational Vitamin seems when it’s sandwiched between hardcore rap songs, but to do so misses the bigger point – we Christians often live our lives the same way. Maybe God is listening to the broadcast of my day and this is what he hears:
Quiet time in the morning. Read the Bible, prayer, give thanks.
Go into work and act completely different and disconnected from God.Come home.
Spend time with wife. Read the Bible, pray.
Chances are, that to many outside listeners, the format of my life is just as out of synch as the people station’s “booty, God, booty.” It might not be as graphic or as neon, but the juxtaposition between who I am when I’m in “God mode” and who I am when I’m in work mode is pretty substantial.
I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before from other Christian writers, but next time you transition between two parts of your day, think to yourself, “Did I just go booty, God, booty?”
If nothing else, it’s a fun phrase to say.
(Old school readers will notice this post was something I originally wrote about last September.)
#113. Booty, God, Booty.
In Atlanta, my favorite radio station is V103, the “People’s Station.”
It's a hip hop station that plays mostly rap and R&B. The best part of V103 is their morning show. Everyday when I’m driving to work they do what they call an “Inspirational Vitamin.” They read a Bible verse and play a gospel song or a clip by a charismatic minister from Atlanta. I honestly find it to be an uplifting experience overall. The thing I find most interesting however is how they wedge the Inspirational Vitamin into their normal programming. What often happens is that right before they transition to the spiritual segment of the show they play some sort of booty song. Let’s say, “I’m in love wit a stripper.” Then they do the Bible verse and then they go back to booty music when it’s over. The essentially bookend the Inspirational Vitamin with booty, following a fairly simple formula – Booty, God, Booty.
It’s easy to laugh at how insincere that Inspirational Vitamin seems when it’s sandwiched between hardcore rap songs, but to do so misses the bigger point – we Christians often live our lives the same way. Maybe God is listening to the broadcast of my day and this is what he hears:
Quiet time in the morning. Read the Bible, prayer, give thanks.
Go into work and act completely different and disconnected from God.Come home.
Spend time with wife. Read the Bible, pray.
Chances are, that to many outside listeners, the format of my life is just as out of synch as the people station’s “booty, God, booty.” It might not be as graphic or as neon, but the juxtaposition between who I am when I’m in “God mode” and who I am when I’m in work mode is pretty substantial.
I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before from other Christian writers, but next time you transition between two parts of your day, think to yourself, “Did I just go booty, God, booty?”
If nothing else, it’s a fun phrase to say.
(Old school readers will notice this post was something I originally wrote about last September.)
#264. When the pastor takes his coat off.
Jon steps in again with more hilarity. Though I just can't see Doug sitting on the step, taking off his watch or jacket (what jacket?) or sitting backwards on a chair...I bet there is something he does....and I'll be watching. Man, that's funny. I think I'll start a new blog called: "Ways to torture your Pastor". How funny would THAT be. Get all pastors reading it and make them totally self consicious about what they do.
What kind of sicko am I anyway? Jon is teaching me that it is OK to be funny. OK to be yourself and OK to love the Lord and not be perfect.
#264. When the pastor takes his coat off. (AKA, "It's relax time.")
A few months ago I spoke at a men's group. A friend of mine that liked me enough to give me some feedback said that I shared too many ideas and said it all too quickly. I forget his exact words but the gist is that the whole thing was like my ideas were a pack of drunken squirrel monkeys running swinging through the jungle listening to the Chemical Brothers on iPods. That's not exactly what he said, but it was close.
He told me that I was not giving people enough time to laugh or chew on what I was saying. So the next time I spoke, he suggested I bring a drink and take sips during the message to force some pauses. Because I am a dork, this is how I started my next message:
"Whenever you see me take a drink from this obscenely large beverage, I've either said something really funny or something profoundly insightful. You should be laughing or scratching your head in concentration."
It worked. I slowed down my message and by the end of the talk, if I said something even a little funny, guys in the audience would start yelling, "drink," which is always a hilarious thing to hear someone yell in church.
But I'm not the only one that uses little tricks while speaking. Pastors use them too, my favorite being the "It's relax time." This is when pastors do little things to make you get comfortable and think to yourself, "wow, this pastor is just like me. This pastor gets me." It's kind of like when Mr. Rogers used to change sweaters at the start of his show.
Here are the three most obvious relax moves:
1. Taking off the coat.
This is probably the most popular move that pastors do when they want to put you at ease. It's the equivalent of doing a lay up in basketball. It's extremely easy and almost everyone on the planet can do it. All they have to do is take off their coat, lay it down on a chair or the really popular table churches are buying these days and they're all set. Nice and easy.
2. Sit on the steps.
If your church has any steps on the stage please expect the pastor to take a seat. Right in the middle of a sentence, he'll just plop down right there as if he always does that. Or if he has a chair on stage, he'll turn it around backwards like he's Zack Morris having a casual chat with his man AC. I'm not sure if there was a text book in seminary called "Sitting with Style" or perhaps, "The Secret Benefit of Knowing how to Sit," but it seems like every pastor knows this move.
3. Close the Bible
I sometimes have to interview people at work that want to be writers. I once read an interview technique that said "place your official sheet of questions down on the table. The candidate will think the interview is over and will start to open up more honestly." That's a little slippery to me, but I don't think there's anything slippery about the close the Bible move although they are similar. When your pastor dramatically closes his Bible what he is trying to say is, "The serious stuff is over. It's time to talk about life, just you and me, hanging out, talking about some life. Doing some life together. Word."
The anti-relax move:
Removing the watch.
If your minister ever removes his watch, take your car key off your key chain, throw the less useful keys in a corner and then while everyone is distracted, crawl away in the opposite direction undetected. The remove the watch trick says to the people in the congregation, "I am about to launch into a sermon where time holds no power. The things I am going to say are going to make waiting until the next season of the television show Lost starts again feel short."
Those are just a few ideas I have about how to get a crowd to relax. I promise that is just the tip of the iceberg.
What kind of sicko am I anyway? Jon is teaching me that it is OK to be funny. OK to be yourself and OK to love the Lord and not be perfect.
#264. When the pastor takes his coat off. (AKA, "It's relax time.")
A few months ago I spoke at a men's group. A friend of mine that liked me enough to give me some feedback said that I shared too many ideas and said it all too quickly. I forget his exact words but the gist is that the whole thing was like my ideas were a pack of drunken squirrel monkeys running swinging through the jungle listening to the Chemical Brothers on iPods. That's not exactly what he said, but it was close.
He told me that I was not giving people enough time to laugh or chew on what I was saying. So the next time I spoke, he suggested I bring a drink and take sips during the message to force some pauses. Because I am a dork, this is how I started my next message:
"Whenever you see me take a drink from this obscenely large beverage, I've either said something really funny or something profoundly insightful. You should be laughing or scratching your head in concentration."
It worked. I slowed down my message and by the end of the talk, if I said something even a little funny, guys in the audience would start yelling, "drink," which is always a hilarious thing to hear someone yell in church.
But I'm not the only one that uses little tricks while speaking. Pastors use them too, my favorite being the "It's relax time." This is when pastors do little things to make you get comfortable and think to yourself, "wow, this pastor is just like me. This pastor gets me." It's kind of like when Mr. Rogers used to change sweaters at the start of his show.
Here are the three most obvious relax moves:
1. Taking off the coat.
This is probably the most popular move that pastors do when they want to put you at ease. It's the equivalent of doing a lay up in basketball. It's extremely easy and almost everyone on the planet can do it. All they have to do is take off their coat, lay it down on a chair or the really popular table churches are buying these days and they're all set. Nice and easy.
2. Sit on the steps.
If your church has any steps on the stage please expect the pastor to take a seat. Right in the middle of a sentence, he'll just plop down right there as if he always does that. Or if he has a chair on stage, he'll turn it around backwards like he's Zack Morris having a casual chat with his man AC. I'm not sure if there was a text book in seminary called "Sitting with Style" or perhaps, "The Secret Benefit of Knowing how to Sit," but it seems like every pastor knows this move.
3. Close the Bible
I sometimes have to interview people at work that want to be writers. I once read an interview technique that said "place your official sheet of questions down on the table. The candidate will think the interview is over and will start to open up more honestly." That's a little slippery to me, but I don't think there's anything slippery about the close the Bible move although they are similar. When your pastor dramatically closes his Bible what he is trying to say is, "The serious stuff is over. It's time to talk about life, just you and me, hanging out, talking about some life. Doing some life together. Word."
The anti-relax move:
Removing the watch.
If your minister ever removes his watch, take your car key off your key chain, throw the less useful keys in a corner and then while everyone is distracted, crawl away in the opposite direction undetected. The remove the watch trick says to the people in the congregation, "I am about to launch into a sermon where time holds no power. The things I am going to say are going to make waiting until the next season of the television show Lost starts again feel short."
Those are just a few ideas I have about how to get a crowd to relax. I promise that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Don't be this family...
Love your family every moment, appreciate them, let them KNOW it every day you can.
Friday, November 21, 2008
#1 Observations: Why Christians Massage Each Other in Church
Ok, back to my OWN stuff.
Welcome to a new category of posts called "Observations"!
The topic of this one is a spin off post from a post of my new fave blog.
In MY blog however, a discussion ensued about massaging in church.
Now, I am not sure what the actual reason for such disgust is of massaging in church is (see comment section of prior post) but here are my thoughts.
First: WHY do people massage in church?
A. They are nervous and feel like "massaging" their spouse will ease their own pain and somehow make them feel less "sinful"
B. They want to be sure that EVERYONE knows they are a couple.
C. They want to be sure that everyone knows they are a happy couple.
D. They want to make sure everyone knows that they are a happy couple and that they are regularly having SEX.
E. They want their spouse to feel comforted in church since they are there-today-for-the-Easter service-which-is-the-only-time-the-hubby-shows-up-and-the-wife-thinks-that- if -she-massages-him-he-won't-bolt-for-the-door-in-the-middle-of-"Watch the Lamb" by Ray Boltz. (Which by the way, I can do a very cool ASL interpretation to if anyone needed for an Easter service)
F. They are a MASSAGE THERAPIST and nearly can't help themselves. ( you know who that is right?)
Second: If you are a member of "Pamic" (people against massaging in church) here are some ways to get people from stopping the massage disruption.
A. Lean forward (especially if you are a man) and ask: "Do you mind if I trade places with your husband?"
B. Make vomiting sounds that sound like "URGHstopthemassageURGH"
C. Start massaging the person being massaged along with the person massaging.
D. If you are in a *Calvary Chapel Church*, loudly ask " I think this guy is hurt, help!"
and
E. Ask if they have a 976 number available.
I submit, these are the reasons people massage each other in church and ways you can stop them.
What do you think?
Welcome to a new category of posts called "Observations"!
The topic of this one is a spin off post from a post of my new fave blog.
In MY blog however, a discussion ensued about massaging in church.
Now, I am not sure what the actual reason for such disgust is of massaging in church is (see comment section of prior post) but here are my thoughts.
First: WHY do people massage in church?
A. They are nervous and feel like "massaging" their spouse will ease their own pain and somehow make them feel less "sinful"
B. They want to be sure that EVERYONE knows they are a couple.
C. They want to be sure that everyone knows they are a happy couple.
D. They want to make sure everyone knows that they are a happy couple and that they are regularly having SEX.
E. They want their spouse to feel comforted in church since they are there-today-for-the-Easter service-which-is-the-only-time-the-hubby-shows-up-and-the-wife-thinks-that- if -she-massages-him-he-won't-bolt-for-the-door-in-the-middle-of-"Watch the Lamb" by Ray Boltz. (Which by the way, I can do a very cool ASL interpretation to if anyone needed for an Easter service)
F. They are a MASSAGE THERAPIST and nearly can't help themselves. ( you know who that is right?)
Second: If you are a member of "Pamic" (people against massaging in church) here are some ways to get people from stopping the massage disruption.
A. Lean forward (especially if you are a man) and ask: "Do you mind if I trade places with your husband?"
B. Make vomiting sounds that sound like "URGHstopthemassageURGH"
C. Start massaging the person being massaged along with the person massaging.
D. If you are in a *Calvary Chapel Church*, loudly ask " I think this guy is hurt, help!"
and
E. Ask if they have a 976 number available.
I submit, these are the reasons people massage each other in church and ways you can stop them.
What do you think?
The Fake "I'll Pray For You"
From you know where....of course. Sorry you are on the ride of my current addiction and I hope you'll PRAY FOR ME (you will won't you?) and I hope this is not overkill because if you skip reading these then you are missing stuff way better than what I ever write.
Razzle Dazzle bretheren, Razzle Dazzle.
Remix - #53. Saying "I'll pray for you" and then not.
Sometimes, saying "I'll pray for you" is just the Christian equivalent of ending a date by saying "I'll give you a call." It shouldn't be, in a dating situation you usually tell the person you'll give them a call because you're all out of words and the night needs some sort of punctuation. You know deep down you will not be giving that person a call, but they are just standing there, and they weren't a horrible date, just not the right person for you.
So you're faced with two choices – either you throw your house keys and hope that the moonlight reflecting off the key chain blinds them and the sound distracts them allowing you to escape inside or you tell them, "I'll give you a call." And since you need your keys for getting in the house, that option isn't great, unless you carry a spare set of "bad date keys" but then you have to wonder, how many bad dates are you going on that you had a special set of keys made just to throw?
Instead you say, "'I'll give you a call" because it's easier that way. Or maybe we mean it at the time. Maybe we intend to call that person, but life gets busy and we just forget. I think that's similar to what happens when we say "I'll pray for you."
Right now I have about a 17% success rate when it comes to actually following through on my "I'll pray for you" statements. I know that's horrible, but it's a ten year average and from 1996 – 2004 I was batting about 0%. I've done better these last two years to pull up my average but you know what they say about prayer statistics, "it's a marathon, not a sprint." (I think there was an analogy traffic jam in that paragraph, whoa.)
But what if there was a better way? What if instead of saying "I'll pray for you" and then not, we could all do something else? What if we learned five new ways to end a Christian conversation without saying, "I'll pray for you?" I think we should.
Five new things to say instead of "I'll pray for you."
1. "Here, have some pocket candy."
Conversations, much like Saturday Night Live skits, are often difficult to end. What started out funny and enjoyable just kind of slowly deteriorates until you're both standing there saying, "so yeah, that's what's going on." I think it might be nice, when you sense that a conversation has lost its momentum and it's time to move on, if you offered the person you're talking with some pocket candy. Instead of saying, "I'll pray for you," you could say, "I need to go now, but I'd like to leave you with these hard candies. Here, have some pocket candy." Everyone loves candy, and even if they don't, they'll be too stunned to really say anything as you fill their hands with delicious treats instead of an empty promise to pray for them.
2. "Razzle Dazzle, Razzle Dazzle."
This one makes no sense and that's kind of the point. It's just really fun to say, and at the bare minimum, it will be awkwardly funny. Just imagine if your friend says, "so anyway, that's what's going on, not much else, whatever" and you reply, "Razzle Dazzle man, Razzle Dazzle." (Bonus points if you combine this one with #1 and actually give your friend a handful of Razzles, the candy that turns into a gum. Remember that stuff? It somehow managed to suck as both a gum and a candy. Phenomenal.)
3. "I'm sorry, I can't multiply the funk."
Occasionally, a friend will ask you to pray for something that you completely disagree with. They're in a funk right now and if what they're praying for came true, the funk would be multiplied. Maybe they're in a horrible relationship and they're praying they'll get married or they're trying to quit their 47th job that year and when they ask you to pray for a new one you can't do anything but shot block it. You don't want to, it won't feel loving at the time, but you don't want to multiply the funk by praying for something you adamantly feel like God is clearly against. So be upfront and work in a little George Clinton/Prince type language to soften the blow.
4. "That's interesting."
If you've ever worked in a corporation, you've heard this phrase. This term is so large and undefined that when someone shows you an idea at work you can say "that's interesting" and it can mean everything from, "I like that idea, I think we should turn it into a project" to "that is the worst idea I have ever heard in my life." Try it today, you can use it in almost any situation. Someone spills a coke in your computer keyboard, "that's interesting, the vowels don't work anymore." Someone offers to give you a raise and an office with a door, "that's interesting, I would like a promotion." It's great for work and is a pretty handy "I'll pray for you" replacement. Not because it's a dishonest phrase but because it buys you time to gather your thoughts and reflect on the conversation instead of just throwing out an instant "I'll pray for you."
5. "Let's pray right now."
Rock the PRT, Prayer Right There, if you really want to pray. Don't let the push and pace of life swallow the request. Even if you write a prayer request down, you might lose that piece of paper or have your wife throw it away because she thought it was trash even though it also had a great book idea on it. Hypothetically speaking of course. So just pray. Or if that feels weird, pray while you walk away or drive away or Ruckus away, if you are so lucky to own a Honda Ruckus scooter. (I love that word, "ruckus." That's what I want to do with God, create a ruckus and the idea of creating a ruckus while at the same time riding a scooter named Ruckus makes my head spin.)
If we ever have the chance to hang out and we find that our conversation starts drawing to a close, and neither of us knows what to say, I hope you'll say, "Razzle Dazzle" and hand me some Razzles. Because even though it’s a sucky candy and then a sucky gum, it's still free candy, and hey, I like free candy a lot more than fake "I'll pray for you" shout outs.
Razzle Dazzle bretheren, Razzle Dazzle.
Remix - #53. Saying "I'll pray for you" and then not.
Sometimes, saying "I'll pray for you" is just the Christian equivalent of ending a date by saying "I'll give you a call." It shouldn't be, in a dating situation you usually tell the person you'll give them a call because you're all out of words and the night needs some sort of punctuation. You know deep down you will not be giving that person a call, but they are just standing there, and they weren't a horrible date, just not the right person for you.
So you're faced with two choices – either you throw your house keys and hope that the moonlight reflecting off the key chain blinds them and the sound distracts them allowing you to escape inside or you tell them, "I'll give you a call." And since you need your keys for getting in the house, that option isn't great, unless you carry a spare set of "bad date keys" but then you have to wonder, how many bad dates are you going on that you had a special set of keys made just to throw?
Instead you say, "'I'll give you a call" because it's easier that way. Or maybe we mean it at the time. Maybe we intend to call that person, but life gets busy and we just forget. I think that's similar to what happens when we say "I'll pray for you."
Right now I have about a 17% success rate when it comes to actually following through on my "I'll pray for you" statements. I know that's horrible, but it's a ten year average and from 1996 – 2004 I was batting about 0%. I've done better these last two years to pull up my average but you know what they say about prayer statistics, "it's a marathon, not a sprint." (I think there was an analogy traffic jam in that paragraph, whoa.)
But what if there was a better way? What if instead of saying "I'll pray for you" and then not, we could all do something else? What if we learned five new ways to end a Christian conversation without saying, "I'll pray for you?" I think we should.
Five new things to say instead of "I'll pray for you."
1. "Here, have some pocket candy."
Conversations, much like Saturday Night Live skits, are often difficult to end. What started out funny and enjoyable just kind of slowly deteriorates until you're both standing there saying, "so yeah, that's what's going on." I think it might be nice, when you sense that a conversation has lost its momentum and it's time to move on, if you offered the person you're talking with some pocket candy. Instead of saying, "I'll pray for you," you could say, "I need to go now, but I'd like to leave you with these hard candies. Here, have some pocket candy." Everyone loves candy, and even if they don't, they'll be too stunned to really say anything as you fill their hands with delicious treats instead of an empty promise to pray for them.
2. "Razzle Dazzle, Razzle Dazzle."
This one makes no sense and that's kind of the point. It's just really fun to say, and at the bare minimum, it will be awkwardly funny. Just imagine if your friend says, "so anyway, that's what's going on, not much else, whatever" and you reply, "Razzle Dazzle man, Razzle Dazzle." (Bonus points if you combine this one with #1 and actually give your friend a handful of Razzles, the candy that turns into a gum. Remember that stuff? It somehow managed to suck as both a gum and a candy. Phenomenal.)
3. "I'm sorry, I can't multiply the funk."
Occasionally, a friend will ask you to pray for something that you completely disagree with. They're in a funk right now and if what they're praying for came true, the funk would be multiplied. Maybe they're in a horrible relationship and they're praying they'll get married or they're trying to quit their 47th job that year and when they ask you to pray for a new one you can't do anything but shot block it. You don't want to, it won't feel loving at the time, but you don't want to multiply the funk by praying for something you adamantly feel like God is clearly against. So be upfront and work in a little George Clinton/Prince type language to soften the blow.
4. "That's interesting."
If you've ever worked in a corporation, you've heard this phrase. This term is so large and undefined that when someone shows you an idea at work you can say "that's interesting" and it can mean everything from, "I like that idea, I think we should turn it into a project" to "that is the worst idea I have ever heard in my life." Try it today, you can use it in almost any situation. Someone spills a coke in your computer keyboard, "that's interesting, the vowels don't work anymore." Someone offers to give you a raise and an office with a door, "that's interesting, I would like a promotion." It's great for work and is a pretty handy "I'll pray for you" replacement. Not because it's a dishonest phrase but because it buys you time to gather your thoughts and reflect on the conversation instead of just throwing out an instant "I'll pray for you."
5. "Let's pray right now."
Rock the PRT, Prayer Right There, if you really want to pray. Don't let the push and pace of life swallow the request. Even if you write a prayer request down, you might lose that piece of paper or have your wife throw it away because she thought it was trash even though it also had a great book idea on it. Hypothetically speaking of course. So just pray. Or if that feels weird, pray while you walk away or drive away or Ruckus away, if you are so lucky to own a Honda Ruckus scooter. (I love that word, "ruckus." That's what I want to do with God, create a ruckus and the idea of creating a ruckus while at the same time riding a scooter named Ruckus makes my head spin.)
If we ever have the chance to hang out and we find that our conversation starts drawing to a close, and neither of us knows what to say, I hope you'll say, "Razzle Dazzle" and hand me some Razzles. Because even though it’s a sucky candy and then a sucky gum, it's still free candy, and hey, I like free candy a lot more than fake "I'll pray for you" shout outs.
I. Am. In. Love.
I am. I am in LOVE with someone else's BLOG. This has never happened before. Don't you DARE go to StuffChristiansLike.Blogspot.com and fall in love too. It's MINE. Along with the other few hundred thousand who read it. I NEVER want to meet this guy "Jon". I know it will knock me out of who I am really in love with. His blog!
Grab your tissues for some funny.
#374. "<><" - Christian Emoticons I recently noticed an abundance of "<><" popping up in my inbox. At first I thought nothing of them. They seemed small and harmless, cute little Christian emoticons thrown onto the end of emails. It's only a couple of symbols that are supposed to look like an Ichthus, or what people call a "Jesus fish." No big deal, right? But then a writer friend of mine named Lisa said that she had been seeing them a lot in Pennsylvania. And I started to find more and more of them in emails. And then I realized, that "xoxoxo," long used to symbolize "hugs and kisses" was starting to disappear, replaced by "<><" instead. "<><" was eating "xoxoxo." What was next?
I envisioned entire emails without words, Christian emoticons just filling subject lines and text messages and twitters and facebook pages. I dreamt of a day where instead of saying, "I am a Christian," I would have to say, "I am a back arrow, forward arrow, back arrow" or worse yet, I would be forced to make those symbols with my fingers like some religious gang symbol, yelling "Fish Side" instead of Dr. Dre's "West Side" as I drove by rival churches.
My world started to crumble. I faced a crossroads my friends, embrace "<><" or form a resistance group. Since I am already tied up heavily in my activities with PAMIC, People Against Massages In Church, I decided to join the evangelical emoticonerati.
I decided to create a set of emoticons based on some of the posts from Stuff Christians Like.
Here they are:
\~~~\ This means, "I stayed in bed this morning and accidentally missed church. Please don't judge me if we see each other at a restaurant on Sunday afternoon and I am clearly wearing clothes that indicate I did not go." (Also known as "bedside Baptist.")
^^^^ This means, "Our church had to install speed bumps in the parking lot because despite what the sermon said, I will run you over if you get in my way when I am trying to leave church.
0:) This means, "I am a Christian with a halo and a unibrow. I wear both proudly."
!!! This means, "I drink coffee during church! Lots of coffee!"
.oO This means, "Our small church is becoming a megachurch."
Y Y Y This means, "You will see lots of people singing with their hands raised at our church."
& This means, "I am a bald worship leader."
\_ \_ \_ This means, "Our new church building has movie-theater style seats."
~~~~~> This means, "We handle snakes at our church during service."
o o o o o o o This means, "I am not afraid to throw Skittles in order to wake up a crowd of people."
0$ This means, "I tip with tracts instead of money at restaurants." (Shame on you.)
[ --> <-- } This means, "I can't clap on rhythm during worship songs. When I try to bring my hands together, it's like one hand is thinking one thing and the other is thinking something completely different."
Those are my top 12. I couldn't think of a good one for side hugs or metrosexual worship leaders. I trust you'll have better luck and hope that today, on an otherwise ordinary Monday, we can all create an extraordinary emoticon conversation in the comments.
So what would your Christian emoticon say?
Grab your tissues for some funny.
#374. "<><" - Christian Emoticons I recently noticed an abundance of "<><" popping up in my inbox. At first I thought nothing of them. They seemed small and harmless, cute little Christian emoticons thrown onto the end of emails. It's only a couple of symbols that are supposed to look like an Ichthus, or what people call a "Jesus fish." No big deal, right? But then a writer friend of mine named Lisa said that she had been seeing them a lot in Pennsylvania. And I started to find more and more of them in emails. And then I realized, that "xoxoxo," long used to symbolize "hugs and kisses" was starting to disappear, replaced by "<><" instead. "<><" was eating "xoxoxo." What was next?
I envisioned entire emails without words, Christian emoticons just filling subject lines and text messages and twitters and facebook pages. I dreamt of a day where instead of saying, "I am a Christian," I would have to say, "I am a back arrow, forward arrow, back arrow" or worse yet, I would be forced to make those symbols with my fingers like some religious gang symbol, yelling "Fish Side" instead of Dr. Dre's "West Side" as I drove by rival churches.
My world started to crumble. I faced a crossroads my friends, embrace "<><" or form a resistance group. Since I am already tied up heavily in my activities with PAMIC, People Against Massages In Church, I decided to join the evangelical emoticonerati.
I decided to create a set of emoticons based on some of the posts from Stuff Christians Like.
Here they are:
\~~~\ This means, "I stayed in bed this morning and accidentally missed church. Please don't judge me if we see each other at a restaurant on Sunday afternoon and I am clearly wearing clothes that indicate I did not go." (Also known as "bedside Baptist.")
^^^^ This means, "Our church had to install speed bumps in the parking lot because despite what the sermon said, I will run you over if you get in my way when I am trying to leave church.
0:) This means, "I am a Christian with a halo and a unibrow. I wear both proudly."
!!! This means, "I drink coffee during church! Lots of coffee!"
.oO This means, "Our small church is becoming a megachurch."
Y Y Y This means, "You will see lots of people singing with their hands raised at our church."
& This means, "I am a bald worship leader."
\_ \_ \_ This means, "Our new church building has movie-theater style seats."
~~~~~> This means, "We handle snakes at our church during service."
o o o o o o o This means, "I am not afraid to throw Skittles in order to wake up a crowd of people."
0$ This means, "I tip with tracts instead of money at restaurants." (Shame on you.)
[ --> <-- } This means, "I can't clap on rhythm during worship songs. When I try to bring my hands together, it's like one hand is thinking one thing and the other is thinking something completely different."
Those are my top 12. I couldn't think of a good one for side hugs or metrosexual worship leaders. I trust you'll have better luck and hope that today, on an otherwise ordinary Monday, we can all create an extraordinary emoticon conversation in the comments.
So what would your Christian emoticon say?
Thursday, November 20, 2008
You want my WHAT?
A Narrated version of a post adapted from Jon of Stuff Christians Like... Hope you enjoy pen mongers.
WATCH VIDEO FIRST
The Funny thing? I needed a pen in church last Sunday and I was afraid to ask someone. I actually sent Rachel to fetch me one and had her GET UP during Doug speaking. Now, those of you who don't know me, don't realize that I have a real respect for authority. So for the CC rules: NO CHILDREN and DON'T GET UP UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY AND IF YOU HAVE TO, TAKE A SEAT IN THE BACK OF THE CHURCH UPON YOUR RETURN (oh stop, they're your rules, embrace them if you are going to have them) anyway, it was a big thing for me to send Rach. Sorry Doug. I'll bring a pen next time. And I just wanted to say, because I am woman, ;), that I personally don't feel this way about my pens. You are welcome to them. If I have one. Which I normally don't. So Maybe you should just offer me one already?
WATCH VIDEO FIRST
The Funny thing? I needed a pen in church last Sunday and I was afraid to ask someone. I actually sent Rachel to fetch me one and had her GET UP during Doug speaking. Now, those of you who don't know me, don't realize that I have a real respect for authority. So for the CC rules: NO CHILDREN and DON'T GET UP UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY AND IF YOU HAVE TO, TAKE A SEAT IN THE BACK OF THE CHURCH UPON YOUR RETURN (oh stop, they're your rules, embrace them if you are going to have them) anyway, it was a big thing for me to send Rach. Sorry Doug. I'll bring a pen next time. And I just wanted to say, because I am woman, ;), that I personally don't feel this way about my pens. You are welcome to them. If I have one. Which I normally don't. So Maybe you should just offer me one already?
Just sayin'
Now from all the recent political well, dialogue that has gone on, you may all assume that I am a republican. But I am not. Though I do hold to their party's (albeit not their personal walk) views on morals.
I should be called a revolutionist! I mean, that it was I would TRULY like to do. Revolutionize. So I am not sure what to call myself. NOT republican. NOT Democratic. NOT Independent. (talk about walking the fence, puhleeze) But I am a die hard Michael Moore Fan. And for all of you republican nut jobs, and you KNOW who you are, who have not seen his 911 video, you are truly NOT getting the full picture.As NO American is since we don't do the hard research this guy does and all with a good laugh to boot. There is SO MUCH underlying stuff going on. That video should have been MANDATORY for all adults. DO yourself a favor and rent it. You really should not be afraid to get a fuller picture. Like Jehovah Witnesses who are trained to NEVER look or listen to other doctrine, bibles, ideas, etc...the American who refuses to see a different side, see ALL the details and have a MAYBE EVEN have a view point changed is like a Paul who never traveled the Damascus road...doomed.
Here is a clip from his latest film Sicko (about American Health Care)...which FOX news calls "inspiring and uplifting".
I should be called a revolutionist! I mean, that it was I would TRULY like to do. Revolutionize. So I am not sure what to call myself. NOT republican. NOT Democratic. NOT Independent. (talk about walking the fence, puhleeze) But I am a die hard Michael Moore Fan. And for all of you republican nut jobs, and you KNOW who you are, who have not seen his 911 video, you are truly NOT getting the full picture.As NO American is since we don't do the hard research this guy does and all with a good laugh to boot. There is SO MUCH underlying stuff going on. That video should have been MANDATORY for all adults. DO yourself a favor and rent it. You really should not be afraid to get a fuller picture. Like Jehovah Witnesses who are trained to NEVER look or listen to other doctrine, bibles, ideas, etc...the American who refuses to see a different side, see ALL the details and have a MAYBE EVEN have a view point changed is like a Paul who never traveled the Damascus road...doomed.
Here is a clip from his latest film Sicko (about American Health Care)...which FOX news calls "inspiring and uplifting".
I can't help it...guest poster...
He's just a great writer! Look at it this way, I was going to post a Christina Aguilera youtube singing Merry Christmas. So I leave you with my new best friend Jon. I say best friend because I think I made it into the eighties in the comment section of one of his posts.
From the writer of 97 Seconds with God....
From his other blog: Stuff Christians Like
Monday, November 17, 2008
#440. Not Knowing What to do with Yoga
I’ve taken yoga twice. It was in Cambridge, Massachusetts and was what is known as “hot yoga.” It was kind of like Dante’s tenth circle except I had to pay for it and there were candles. The heat was turned up to 100, all the lights were turned off and occasionally an instructor would come by to see what noise I would make if someone pulled my shoulder blades out of the socket.
The second time, one attendee almost got into a fight with another over “Yoga Mat Placement.” (Turns out 67% of yoga fights are YMP related.)
Neither experience was all that peaceful and whatever expectation I had of yoga wasn’t really met. I guess I thought it would be kind of like laying down on a fluffy bed and pillow fighting with clouds while birds fluttered gently above my head whistling a muzak version of Bobby McFerrin’s song, “Don’t worry be happy.”
A family friend had a completely different experience but got the same mixed result when she tried yoga. After months of taking yoga at a gym owned by a Christian and taking yoga lessons from a Christian, a new instructor substitute taught the class. My friend, ever inquisitive, asked what the poses meant. The substitute instructor, a hardcore yoga fan, told her that yoga positions were based on different positions of reverence. Guessing that the positions of reverence were not designed to show some love to sweet baby Jesus, my friend felt a little uneasy.
But what is yoga? Is it just fancy stretching? Surely God isn’t against stretching. I can’t imagine Him in heaven frowning down at marathon runners as they limber up. I’ve only taken two yoga classes so I can’t help but claim ignorance on this subject. Fortunately I have access to the internet and everything online is true, so we should be able to figure this out by just searching google twice. (Two google searches plus one substitute yoga teacher’s opinion constitutes a deeply analytical study of a subject, right?)
According to the abc-of-yoga.com, “The word ‘Yoga’ came from the Sanskrit word ‘yuj’ which means ‘to unite or integrate.’ Yoga then is about the union of a person's own consciousness and the universal consciousness.”
Oh boy.
But then I googled “Christian Yoga” and found out about something called “Scripture Yoga” on the site ChristianYoga.com:
“Scripture Yoga is a form of Christian yoga with Biblical scripture verses recited during the stretches and postures. The scriptures are based on themes like Peace, Angels and Prayer.”
Now I’m just confused. Are we for yoga or against yoga? Should we put it in the category my friend’s parents put martial arts in when she was a kid, “better safe than sorry” or figure out a way to sweat and stretch and quote scripture at the same time?
The answer my friends? Like so many other things in life, I feel this debate (which makes me want to use all our popular Christian words like “relevant” and “postmodern” and “marketplace”) can be answered with one simple word:
Frisbee.
Let’s play Frisbee. I’m pretty sure God loves that sport. And its origins link back to people that threw empty pie tins from the Frisbie Baking Company. So at the very worst, you’re paying homage to pie throwing which is practically a staple of any good youth group. No risk. All awesome. And dogs can be taught to catch them. It’s win-win-win as they say on the Office.
Posted by Prodigal Jon at 3:00 AM 94 comments
From the writer of 97 Seconds with God....
From his other blog: Stuff Christians Like
Monday, November 17, 2008
#440. Not Knowing What to do with Yoga
I’ve taken yoga twice. It was in Cambridge, Massachusetts and was what is known as “hot yoga.” It was kind of like Dante’s tenth circle except I had to pay for it and there were candles. The heat was turned up to 100, all the lights were turned off and occasionally an instructor would come by to see what noise I would make if someone pulled my shoulder blades out of the socket.
The second time, one attendee almost got into a fight with another over “Yoga Mat Placement.” (Turns out 67% of yoga fights are YMP related.)
Neither experience was all that peaceful and whatever expectation I had of yoga wasn’t really met. I guess I thought it would be kind of like laying down on a fluffy bed and pillow fighting with clouds while birds fluttered gently above my head whistling a muzak version of Bobby McFerrin’s song, “Don’t worry be happy.”
A family friend had a completely different experience but got the same mixed result when she tried yoga. After months of taking yoga at a gym owned by a Christian and taking yoga lessons from a Christian, a new instructor substitute taught the class. My friend, ever inquisitive, asked what the poses meant. The substitute instructor, a hardcore yoga fan, told her that yoga positions were based on different positions of reverence. Guessing that the positions of reverence were not designed to show some love to sweet baby Jesus, my friend felt a little uneasy.
But what is yoga? Is it just fancy stretching? Surely God isn’t against stretching. I can’t imagine Him in heaven frowning down at marathon runners as they limber up. I’ve only taken two yoga classes so I can’t help but claim ignorance on this subject. Fortunately I have access to the internet and everything online is true, so we should be able to figure this out by just searching google twice. (Two google searches plus one substitute yoga teacher’s opinion constitutes a deeply analytical study of a subject, right?)
According to the abc-of-yoga.com, “The word ‘Yoga’ came from the Sanskrit word ‘yuj’ which means ‘to unite or integrate.’ Yoga then is about the union of a person's own consciousness and the universal consciousness.”
Oh boy.
But then I googled “Christian Yoga” and found out about something called “Scripture Yoga” on the site ChristianYoga.com:
“Scripture Yoga is a form of Christian yoga with Biblical scripture verses recited during the stretches and postures. The scriptures are based on themes like Peace, Angels and Prayer.”
Now I’m just confused. Are we for yoga or against yoga? Should we put it in the category my friend’s parents put martial arts in when she was a kid, “better safe than sorry” or figure out a way to sweat and stretch and quote scripture at the same time?
The answer my friends? Like so many other things in life, I feel this debate (which makes me want to use all our popular Christian words like “relevant” and “postmodern” and “marketplace”) can be answered with one simple word:
Frisbee.
Let’s play Frisbee. I’m pretty sure God loves that sport. And its origins link back to people that threw empty pie tins from the Frisbie Baking Company. So at the very worst, you’re paying homage to pie throwing which is practically a staple of any good youth group. No risk. All awesome. And dogs can be taught to catch them. It’s win-win-win as they say on the Office.
Posted by Prodigal Jon at 3:00 AM 94 comments
97 Seconds With God..Guest Post
I came across this blog through somebody's...isn't that funny when you sometimes get "lost" anc can't remember how you got there? Well this guy is FUNNY. AGAIN, I'd link you there but since NO BODY no matter HOW MANY TIMES I ask will tell me how to insert a direct link or hyperlink or whatever it is called, I cannot do that for you. I clicked the bull icon but nada. Didn't work.
ANYWAY this guy had a hilarious blog called Stuff Christians Like..FUNNY and others as well including one called 97 Seconds With God where I found this little gem of a post. GOSH I love good writing. Go check out his stuff..it is funny, insightful and filled with the thoughts of a walking Christian man who is not afraid to be REAL.
I figure since my blog is closed and I offer proper crediting, I am ok copying his stuff.
From 97 Seconds With God...
From the
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Four words.
I have heard roughly 1 million pastors reference the verse, Philippians 4:6-7, in sermons about worry.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
And it makes complete sense, because it's a great verse. I've said that one over and over again through the years as I've wrestled with my own worries.
But I've never heard anyone mention the four words that come before it. I've never heard anyone talk about the incredibly short, but in my mind, incredibly powerful sentence that precedes, "Do not be anxious about anything."
Have you? If you're familiar with that verse and have memorized it before, do you know the way the verse before it concludes? I honestly didn’t until a few weeks ago.
The four words before Philippians 4:6 are "The Lord is near." The verses say, "The Lord is near. Do not be anxious ..." I love that. When we pray that verse out loud when we're under the burden of worry, when the skies are dark and we are so anxious we can barely stand and we cry out to God, I think we should start with "The Lord is near."
We're not praying to a far off God. We're not presenting our requests to a long distance lord. The Lord is near. The Lord is near. That's such a great reminder. Instead of starting with us, "Don't be anxious about anything," what if we started with the Lord? What if we started our pray with, "the lord is near" and ended it in verse 7 with “in Christ Jesus?” What if we had God bookends on that prayer about worry?
Would that change the way we thought about worry? It has for me.
ANYWAY this guy had a hilarious blog called Stuff Christians Like..FUNNY and others as well including one called 97 Seconds With God where I found this little gem of a post. GOSH I love good writing. Go check out his stuff..it is funny, insightful and filled with the thoughts of a walking Christian man who is not afraid to be REAL.
I figure since my blog is closed and I offer proper crediting, I am ok copying his stuff.
From 97 Seconds With God...
From the
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Four words.
I have heard roughly 1 million pastors reference the verse, Philippians 4:6-7, in sermons about worry.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
And it makes complete sense, because it's a great verse. I've said that one over and over again through the years as I've wrestled with my own worries.
But I've never heard anyone mention the four words that come before it. I've never heard anyone talk about the incredibly short, but in my mind, incredibly powerful sentence that precedes, "Do not be anxious about anything."
Have you? If you're familiar with that verse and have memorized it before, do you know the way the verse before it concludes? I honestly didn’t until a few weeks ago.
The four words before Philippians 4:6 are "The Lord is near." The verses say, "The Lord is near. Do not be anxious ..." I love that. When we pray that verse out loud when we're under the burden of worry, when the skies are dark and we are so anxious we can barely stand and we cry out to God, I think we should start with "The Lord is near."
We're not praying to a far off God. We're not presenting our requests to a long distance lord. The Lord is near. The Lord is near. That's such a great reminder. Instead of starting with us, "Don't be anxious about anything," what if we started with the Lord? What if we started our pray with, "the lord is near" and ended it in verse 7 with “in Christ Jesus?” What if we had God bookends on that prayer about worry?
Would that change the way we thought about worry? It has for me.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sneak Peek!
Ah, my blogging buddies get a sneak peek. I NEVER release covers early but may just use this blog to sneak some fun out to YOU. You must promise not to save any images or send them out to anyone. Especially in the other post with the wa ha ha's. Lol
Anyway, isn't this cover the cutest??? We are going to print today or tomorrow. I think we did a good job getting some ethnicity throughout the pages too. Most of it without trying, it just happened that way! Weird.God blessing good intentions? Who knows! Hope they don't think we are pandering....but it sure does look better with some diversity, I must admit!
Anyway, isn't this cover the cutest??? We are going to print today or tomorrow. I think we did a good job getting some ethnicity throughout the pages too. Most of it without trying, it just happened that way! Weird.God blessing good intentions? Who knows! Hope they don't think we are pandering....but it sure does look better with some diversity, I must admit!
A good day!
Had a great day yesterday. I pulled back on a lot of my networking to be at home more and it has been great. I closed down my networking group in Leesburg and started making tough decisions about the good vs. the excellent.
But I promised the head of a networking group that is on Tuesday am that I would be there. UGH. Promises. Thank goodness God doesn't feel that way sometimes. Lol
So it starts at 8am and I was at my computer with Kate nursing and no one else was up. It was 7:50 and I was in my jammies still.
It felt like TORTURE to get up and go but Lauren came in right at that moment, took the baby and in ten minues I was dressed, foofed, painted and con briefcase.
Away I go....
Fashionably late by ten minutes (but rude, I must admit) I walk in and it was PACKED. Everyone was waving to me and smiling and I admit it, I felt the love. AND who was there?...A lady from Calvary Chapel!!!!!! VERY COOL! It was her first time and she is also new at CC. I met her first on a Thursday and always try to talk to newbies so I have spoken to her three different times at church and then here she was again, so God has something up with that me thinks. Anyway, she looked a little relieved to see me walk in, which might be overstating it a bit, but still, I was glad if she could relax a bit.
So I stood up and did my thing and afterwards a woman approached me and said she was at an initial school board meeting with the new superintendent and all the teachers, etc. and the superintendendent stood up with the magazine and said "communication, communication,communication" and Lake Family Magazine is going to be the strong foundation by which we communicate with families!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
That my friends, was a happy SCREAM!
That is very VERY VERY good news!
If she is telling teachers and staff about us, I imagine that we can tentatively hope EVEN more that we will get the big official stamp of approval from the school board. NO easy task mind you since we have advertising and are obvisously faith related. Thank you Lord.
That is going to be exciting when that happens.
THEN another woman who was a previous advertiser that I hadn't seen in months approached with help for our books and wanted a half page ad for a YEAR as she is buying a new business that we are HEAVILY involved with!!! (can't tell yet until her deal is done!)
So if I had NOT gotten up and gotten OUT then I would have as they say, missed the boat.
A VERY good day yesterday!
PLUS I even got school in! Whew!
But I promised the head of a networking group that is on Tuesday am that I would be there. UGH. Promises. Thank goodness God doesn't feel that way sometimes. Lol
So it starts at 8am and I was at my computer with Kate nursing and no one else was up. It was 7:50 and I was in my jammies still.
It felt like TORTURE to get up and go but Lauren came in right at that moment, took the baby and in ten minues I was dressed, foofed, painted and con briefcase.
Away I go....
Fashionably late by ten minutes (but rude, I must admit) I walk in and it was PACKED. Everyone was waving to me and smiling and I admit it, I felt the love. AND who was there?...A lady from Calvary Chapel!!!!!! VERY COOL! It was her first time and she is also new at CC. I met her first on a Thursday and always try to talk to newbies so I have spoken to her three different times at church and then here she was again, so God has something up with that me thinks. Anyway, she looked a little relieved to see me walk in, which might be overstating it a bit, but still, I was glad if she could relax a bit.
So I stood up and did my thing and afterwards a woman approached me and said she was at an initial school board meeting with the new superintendent and all the teachers, etc. and the superintendendent stood up with the magazine and said "communication, communication,communication" and Lake Family Magazine is going to be the strong foundation by which we communicate with families!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
That my friends, was a happy SCREAM!
That is very VERY VERY good news!
If she is telling teachers and staff about us, I imagine that we can tentatively hope EVEN more that we will get the big official stamp of approval from the school board. NO easy task mind you since we have advertising and are obvisously faith related. Thank you Lord.
That is going to be exciting when that happens.
THEN another woman who was a previous advertiser that I hadn't seen in months approached with help for our books and wanted a half page ad for a YEAR as she is buying a new business that we are HEAVILY involved with!!! (can't tell yet until her deal is done!)
So if I had NOT gotten up and gotten OUT then I would have as they say, missed the boat.
A VERY good day yesterday!
PLUS I even got school in! Whew!
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Mocking of "A Simple Woman's Daybook" for today, November 17, 2008...
Yeah, I put up with a lot of these without the mock, but sometimes I...just...can't...help...it.
Outside my window...black and cold. But I like it.
I am thinking...about why I am wasting time mocking the woman's daybook, thankful Thurdays, Wishful Wednesdays Manic Mondays or whatever they are called. I mean, I crave the stimulus of original thought all the time....so the template just makes me squirm. Too conformist for me. Sorry. No offense. It's me not you.
From the learning rooms...THE LEARNING ROOMS? are you serious? I don't remember this one...ok. The learning rooms. Um, don't try to change a poopy baby after she's had sugar and is manic. Really. Don't.
I am thankful for..sarcasm, because let's admit it, it works.
I am wearing...my heart on my sleeve.
From the kitchen...sounds of Law and Order because YES, there is a TV in our kitchen!!!!!!!!!!!
I am reading...what I'm typing...
I am hoping...that...well, I can't sarcasm up hope so....I hope Jeff comes home soon. God? I LOVE that man. Thank you!
Around the house...land...
One of my favorite things...just one? Ok...TOTAL inner peace...and bacon of course!
A few plans for the rest of the week...WOW. You don't really want to know do you?
Picture thought? Ok..here ya' go.
Breast feeding for the really BIG baby. Help La Leche, Help!
(P.S. whatever you do, you might not want to do a search on "outrageous images"! Bwah Ha!
Outside my window...black and cold. But I like it.
I am thinking...about why I am wasting time mocking the woman's daybook, thankful Thurdays, Wishful Wednesdays Manic Mondays or whatever they are called. I mean, I crave the stimulus of original thought all the time....so the template just makes me squirm. Too conformist for me. Sorry. No offense. It's me not you.
From the learning rooms...THE LEARNING ROOMS? are you serious? I don't remember this one...ok. The learning rooms. Um, don't try to change a poopy baby after she's had sugar and is manic. Really. Don't.
I am thankful for..sarcasm, because let's admit it, it works.
I am wearing...my heart on my sleeve.
From the kitchen...sounds of Law and Order because YES, there is a TV in our kitchen!!!!!!!!!!!
I am reading...what I'm typing...
I am hoping...that...well, I can't sarcasm up hope so....I hope Jeff comes home soon. God? I LOVE that man. Thank you!
Around the house...land...
One of my favorite things...just one? Ok...TOTAL inner peace...and bacon of course!
A few plans for the rest of the week...WOW. You don't really want to know do you?
Picture thought? Ok..here ya' go.
Breast feeding for the really BIG baby. Help La Leche, Help!
(P.S. whatever you do, you might not want to do a search on "outrageous images"! Bwah Ha!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Chapel Chat
SO good to be at church...is it wrong to feel selfish about church? I have been loving being in there and covet the time... I wish I could be in there every week BY MYSELF or just with JEFF and the older kids without worry of Kate...soon it will be so in fact, when Kate grows a bit more but still, I feel like it's a little piece of baklava that I savor when I get it...I worry so much in fact that I am savoring it, that I end up much of the service praying that I stay worshiping Him instead of basking in His presence...or maybe reveling in His glow is the RIGHT thing over humble submission? I don't know but I DO know that I hold back in worship...my desire is to LOVE Him...but for all of CC's no distraction rules, I worry!
The bigger point of course is that I KNOW that I am fast again approaching that I could better serve...it reminds me of something I learned long ago..that first you are served in a church and then you SERVE. If your personal walk is right for a long time, then the once a week service should not be the apex of your walk. So Is the Honeymoon over? Nah, I hope not! But I am feeling the prompting and cannot deny it. When I am hungering for deeper knowledge, I know that it is my PERSONAL walk that will feed me best and so I need to better nurture it...church cannot do it for me...Darn! LOL
OKAY! ON to the teaching already!
No matter what Doug said, hearing the scripture:
"Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you" John 5:14
is scary. Doug said it was a compassionate word of advice or something of the sort...but I hear it and go YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(other denominations, don't latch onto this...God is NOT a punisher!)
Does that make me a worse sinner? Perhaps in my own eyes?
I have been dealing with someone in a mentor position expressing to Sloan that one could lose one's salvation (FYI: you CANNOT!)
and other things...but still, the idea that "something worse may happen to you" does not sound like compassion to me but more like a stern admonishment which parents OUGHT to do when faced with disobedience. I can't HELP but like it. Sounds parental to me. And God often is a tough parent! Much like good human parents are!
Don't do it again, OR ELSE!
Suffice to say, that CC does the real thing...teaches the Word of God, without a bunch of fluff or wrong doctrine.
Wrong doctrine, or the absence thereof, is a killer of faith when the rubber meets the road.
Thanks CCOTL...we are learning to get along...
Sloan's Fine Design
Isn't Sloan's jewlery BEAUTIFUL!?!
She makes wonderful Mommy and Me bracelet sets, bracelet/anklet sets and personalized jewelry of all kinds. Great Christmas presents!
Let me know if you want to gift your beautiful daughter with a Mommy and Me set that makes her feel OH SO SPECIAL...
Or husbands! How about a matching bracelet/ankle set with her birthstone?
Personalized charms with their favorite animal, hobby or initials and much much more!
She makes wonderful Mommy and Me bracelet sets, bracelet/anklet sets and personalized jewelry of all kinds. Great Christmas presents!
Let me know if you want to gift your beautiful daughter with a Mommy and Me set that makes her feel OH SO SPECIAL...
Or husbands! How about a matching bracelet/ankle set with her birthstone?
Personalized charms with their favorite animal, hobby or initials and much much more!
Picnik.com
WHY is that last picture of Kate, as sad as it is, so amazing? Check out picnik.com
It is a FREE webite (so user friendly) that you upload pics to and it automatically enhances, magnifies and sharpens which is the coolest feature I think...or you can do it manually if you want. I did it manually with Kate's to give it that sepia look...somehow made it look more tragic.
Anyway, it is WAY better than my Kodak program...Sloan found the link on Etsy and NOW I know how everyone's pics look so good on ebay and etsy! (Except Cheryl's...I think she actually really KNOWS how to take a great pic!) Do you use picnik C?
Amazing!
Here are some examples of ones that Sloan did.
It is a FREE webite (so user friendly) that you upload pics to and it automatically enhances, magnifies and sharpens which is the coolest feature I think...or you can do it manually if you want. I did it manually with Kate's to give it that sepia look...somehow made it look more tragic.
Anyway, it is WAY better than my Kodak program...Sloan found the link on Etsy and NOW I know how everyone's pics look so good on ebay and etsy! (Except Cheryl's...I think she actually really KNOWS how to take a great pic!) Do you use picnik C?
Amazing!
Here are some examples of ones that Sloan did.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Sanctified Sugar Rush
Well, this didn't quite make Chapel Chat but as I was listening online to Doug's message from last Thursday since I missed, I couldn't help but revisit the teaching in my mind when I saw this photo of poor Kate.
Worldly sugar satisfies for a time...but SANCTIFIED sugar lasts a lifetime.
JESUS is sanctified satisfaction (wow, what a t-shirt...did you know that Jeff and I almost once started a Christian t-shirt business?)
anyway, yes...Jesus is sanctified and even sanctioned satisfaction.
In this picture however, we get a good view of why worldly sugar does not always satisfy...this is Kate after trying to take a first bite of a VERY sugary cupcake...too much frosting and a whole lotta family feeling sorry for this one SWEET baby!
The point? Eventually, WORLDLY sugar feels like it got SHOVED up your face.
Gosh...it is so hard for me to look at this picture... and yet it is still a very small but REAL representation of... the TRUTH!
The sugar of Jesus would never make you feel the way the sugar in this picture does...
Do yourself a favor...choose Jesus. :)
Welcome Back
Welcome back blogging buds. Sorry for my fickleness. I had so much going on this week I thought, HOW can I not blog it? So here we are back at Love's Lessons...learning another one. Don't be so impulsive. Lol
This week LFM did a 1/2 hr interview on local radio WBLE...really fun. I think only three people listened but still, fun.
We also had our BIG presentation to the roundtable meeting I talked about before...)
Here is who we presented to:
Public Defender 5th Circuit Court
State Senator
Gary Borders Sheriff Lake County Sheriff's Office
Anna Cowin Superintendent
Bill D'Aiuto Circuit Administrator Department of Children and Families
Kim Dixon Department of Juvenile Justice
State Representative District 25
Clerk of Courts Clerk
State Attorney Dr. Charles Mojock
President Lake-Sumter Community College
President United Way of Lake & Sumter Counties
Pam Steinke Administrtor Lake County Health Department
Debbie Stivender Commissioner Lake Board of County Commissioners
Michael Takac Juvenile Judge 5th circuit Court
Ron Wallace Publisher Daily Commercial
AND the verdict????.....they LOVED us!
Man that was scary...but worth it...we got the big stuffies laughing and joking and generally actually LOOKING at the magazine and giving us one big STAMP of approval.
Lots of kudos for LFM and our endeavors to the community so all the hard stuff is past us and I am thankful to just be back to the OLD work of simple deadlines and mag work. Who knew there could more stress above THAT? Lol That seems like a breeze now...it is funny how difficulty can grow you into a stronger and more capable person...it is much harder to ruffle me and I tend to just joke about everything. Ig ths sky falls in, so be it. Not stressed anymore...just livin' the dream Lol
I inadvertantly scheduled the Fairy Party on the same day as the presentation so I had to do them both within two hours of each other. That was fun. Really. From magazine editor to fairy god mother all in a span of 2 hours. Good times.
Calgon.....take me to CHURCH!
Love you guys...glad to have you back.
This week LFM did a 1/2 hr interview on local radio WBLE...really fun. I think only three people listened but still, fun.
We also had our BIG presentation to the roundtable meeting I talked about before...)
Here is who we presented to:
Public Defender 5th Circuit Court
State Senator
Gary Borders Sheriff Lake County Sheriff's Office
Anna Cowin Superintendent
Bill D'Aiuto Circuit Administrator Department of Children and Families
Kim Dixon Department of Juvenile Justice
State Representative District 25
Clerk of Courts Clerk
State Attorney Dr. Charles Mojock
President Lake-Sumter Community College
President United Way of Lake & Sumter Counties
Pam Steinke Administrtor Lake County Health Department
Debbie Stivender Commissioner Lake Board of County Commissioners
Michael Takac Juvenile Judge 5th circuit Court
Ron Wallace Publisher Daily Commercial
AND the verdict????.....they LOVED us!
Man that was scary...but worth it...we got the big stuffies laughing and joking and generally actually LOOKING at the magazine and giving us one big STAMP of approval.
Lots of kudos for LFM and our endeavors to the community so all the hard stuff is past us and I am thankful to just be back to the OLD work of simple deadlines and mag work. Who knew there could more stress above THAT? Lol That seems like a breeze now...it is funny how difficulty can grow you into a stronger and more capable person...it is much harder to ruffle me and I tend to just joke about everything. Ig ths sky falls in, so be it. Not stressed anymore...just livin' the dream Lol
I inadvertantly scheduled the Fairy Party on the same day as the presentation so I had to do them both within two hours of each other. That was fun. Really. From magazine editor to fairy god mother all in a span of 2 hours. Good times.
Calgon.....take me to CHURCH!
Love you guys...glad to have you back.
A Fairy Party-Palooza
Sigh. I've been hit. Not by a mack truck but by 17 little flitting fairies. We danced, we ate, we drank and had cotton candy. Lol The pics say it all...we transformed the house in Pixie Hollow which I now want up permanently. Did up the hair, painted faces, donned them with bangles, wands and cupcakes. Gave away prizes and generally had a great time. Enjoy the pics!
We may have to bring the size down next time or get more scheduled parental help but trust me when I say...Fall 2009...we are doing it again. This time? Pirates and Princesses....a party that will surely be remembered!
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