How do you spell relief?

G-I-F-T.

Yep, I admit it. I am one of those I don't have a gift gals.
I prayed and asked and asked and prayed but never got a resolute answer.
I still to this day do NOT know what it is.

But I feel like I can get a message out through the mag. And through some conversation last nights..some batting it around...I further solidify the truth that GOD is in control and I need to worry less about what I put in and just PUT IT IN. Let God worry about the rest....

If He wants us in or out of being distributed through public school, it is up to Him.
It doesn't have to be because of what we put in that decides it. How lame that if we got kicked out because of some OTHER thing, that we neglected to put IN what we wanted out of FEAR of being kicked out.

So maybe that is my gift...I love to write...love the message of practical application of God in one's life and how it ACTUALLY WORKS.

So I RE-SURRENDER the magazine YET AGAIN, lol, and will do more of what my heart tells me is good, right and true.

So:
KEEP 'EM HOME!
PUT 'EM IN SKIRTS
DON'T LET 'EM DATE!
AND
SWITCH THEIR HEINIES! Yeah, that oughta do it alright.

In the rare case of sudden loss of cabin pressure...

Put YOUR mask on FIRST! (an analogy from Pastor Doug)

The idea to study yourself well approved is a good one...we MUST know God's Word..what it says, where it says it and how to apply it.

I got into some conversation about kids and discipline last night..(who, me?) and I realize I like talking about it less and less...I don't know how or even if we go about it differently than others but I always end up feeling like I am being judged...like others think I judge them so they judge me, etc. etc. etc.
Cycle, cycle, cycle. Enemy, enemy, enemy. You know the womanly drill. I am always in shock to hear the problems others have in that area and others are in shock that we don't and really, just DO NOT ask me about discipline any more because I just-don't-know.

But this morning I realized a BIG part of it may be because I had put my own mask on FIRST. Not because I knew to, but because I was suffocating in life until I did. I could not breathe without the Word and when I feel suffocated even now, I know that I have taken off my mask! And that analogy works well for me because at FIRST loss of cabin pressure, there is still a bit of air... you are still breathing...and it is easy to try to force the mask on your kids first...you know, WE WILL DO BIBLE STUDY...but just a few minutes later in life when you are sans oxygen (equals the very breath of Life, the WORD of God) you are SCRAMBLING and knocking over anyone who gets in your way to get that mask on your face and INHALE DEEPLY. And I lived my earlier Christian life that way so much that mask became a pretty regular fixture on my face. Lol LIFE is consistently in a state of loss of cabin pressure..at least for me, so I need to keep that mask on. So I think it is a natural progression when I am breathing deeply of the Word, my kids do too. I am calmly helping them with theirs and not forcing it on their little faces.

Now I know little about where stuff is in the bible and that is a point of weakness in me, but I study a lot- well, a lot can be relative but you get the picture...and we have somewhat inconsistently done practical application bible study pretty regularly. (yet another contradiction but yet again, you get the picture)

God is an authority BIGGER than a parent and when a parent recognizes God as the authority in the home, there is just no arguing with that. Doug was right when he said EVERY answer to life is in there.
Every time an ungodly thing is done or said around here, it is easy to lovingly bring correction with God's Word. Easy if you can say it, better if you can actually point to it but most importantly, effective if kids take God seriously because YOU do.

And maybe THAT is why it works around here for the most part. Not us, but HIM.

Put your own mask on first and you will better be able to help your kids...

SGO

Sunday's Goings On

Ok, let's just get the obvious right the heck out there....

Whoever created International Delights Marshmallow Mocha Coffee Creamer is a GENIUS.
It might as well be said.
A little sugar free Fr. Vanilla with a dash of MMC and woohoo...you gotcha self a cup of J-O-E.

But seriously folks....church was amazing...first I forgot what it was like to be FREE....perhaps it is a GOOD thing that women are more heavily burdened with the noble honor of being nurturers. Otherwise we might find the permanent escape hatch when tastes of freedom come our way. Kate went to NURSERY (see Maris? I said NURSERY, lol) And she had a pretty good time. Sloan went with her and I had a cup of coffee and was able to relax and get my heart right after a rough start at home earlier with the kiddos.
(A further plateful of freedom came later when I got to go out later with friends but I tell ya, as much fun as I had, that's about all the freedom I need. I was glad to get home!)

Of course, the sermon was on earning respect and when some things got listed from 1Tim 4:12: word, conduct, love, spirit, faithfulness and purity, we were to examine WHICH one of those we may be lacking. Ummmm, which? (me turning to my hypothetical neighbor and whispering, did he say WHICH and IF?) Lol Cuz, listen up my peeps, I was lacking in let's spell it out, A-L-L. Now, before condemnation set in, I realized that this was probably not true of ONLY me, so that set in to conviction which is Godly...but still. I mean, ALL? Yep, so I have my work cut out for me this week trying to surrender my poor choice of words, bad conduct, lack of love, faithless spirit and impure EVERYTHING. Lol

Come on now, of course I realize it is in Christ alone and through Christ alone that these things be done, and that through Him these things are actually possible but it is pretty shocking when you are reminded of the reality of the human condition. Saved yes...but sinning away nonetheless. Ouch.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the practical application of Calvary. Of course I am convicted when he says that he hopes one day we will be able to figure that part our on our own but I can't help but love the wrap up. I realize now that THAT is the reason I love CC. I am a practical application girl.

So, STRIKE A BLOW for the Lord and be an example in word, conduct, love, spirit, faithfulness and purity. If one of these sticks out like a sore thumb to you, you have your practical ap for today...if ALL of them stick out to you like they did me, you have your practical ap for a lifetime...

Stream of Thought

My Kodak program has finally crrrrashed! That means that all 11, 998 pics that I have never developed are somehow in there waiting for me. Ah, this would be SUCH an easy segway into lessons on procrastination and laziness but why when I can just complain? Lol (I wonder if I can get someone to come fix it for LESS that 95 bux an hour?)

My real immediate dilemma is that I have not been able to post a pic of Sloan holding her new license under the DMV sign (yes, she let me do that- albeit a little reluctantly and I also took one of her taking the test at the computer! Sheesh, Mom....) so now I just have to say..(last Monday) she got it!

and

cannot post a pic of what I can only call a hilarious and amazing depiction of Randy, Paula and Simon, replete with their table and coke cups...artisticly created with sculpey, the newest addition (and evidently most expensive) form of clay that I oh-so-lovingly got for easter baskets this year...hope they move on before I have to buy more! But they are SOOOOOO cute! Rach is going to take a one week sculpting class this summer which she is so excited about.

I can finally see a bit of light in life again...balance is returning...the old, happier life is dawning on the horizon and I can see that much like the first months of a new child in the home, it always ends up that you actually LOVE the thing when you finally get calmed down. Lol The stress finally culminated in a bad fever blister (every girl's worst nightmare, at least mine) and as vain as I am NOT, this is the kind of thing that can keep me home...growing pains ya' know. But yesterday I kind of felt like I got over the proverbial hump. (Dear M, I am coming back to you!)

May issue is proving to be a tremendous amount of fun to create as it is a big summer camp and summer activity issue...man, had I only not found the truths of the reformed life, I would have done great in children's church ministry. The mag has kind of ended up being that kind of an outlet in a way...I have been lovingly counseled that I am NOT a sell out, lol- but that I can plant seeds along the way of a mainstream world....ha. I hope so. When you get little glimpses that say, "That sounds like Steph", it probably is!

10 Tips for your camp kid is a good example...I added at the end the keep 'em home part. Lol
But May is a fun one and I love creating it while Jeff takes Sloan out driving, Rach reads and sculpts, Lauren climbs to even higher branches and Kate continues to color on every available surface known to mankind.

Life is....different!

Easter Pics

The goyles

Little L

Kate's first run

Need I say more?

Cool finds..

Finally a Bible I'm allowed to touch! I shall sit and study immediately.

Egg coloring. I buy. I set up. The rest? NOT my job. (equals: The BEST hubs in the world)

Decorating 20 month old style

Starting back at SGO!!!

(Sunday's Goings on)

Seems a long time since I've been able to post SGO. And though I didn't actually get to hear the message...and though Kate disrupted the ENTIRE nursery with her screaming (I wonder if even DOUG heard her from the pulpit) and though Quinn, who I think might be the best caregiver in the WORLD when it comes to children and whom I SURE secretly despises screamy, snotty nosed seemingly spoiled Kate...even through ALL of that, I was THRILLED to be back at church. Thrilled when I walked in 35 minutes late having dropped off Jeff, Sloan and Lauren, gone back home to get my forgotten phone since Rach was "not feeling well" and stayed home with Kate, packed Rach and Kate up and took them back to church with me after Rach's miraculous recovery (well it IS resurrection Sunday) and then dealt with all of Kate's shenanigans...yep, I was THRILLED. When I walked in and saw Doug up there, I got the warm fuzzies. When I saw Lisa over with her best friend Kris and SO MANY BABIES everywhere...all seemed right in the world. When I was INVITED in with Kate to hear the kids sing having been told, "come on in, it's an off day, lol (TOO FUNNY) and all the little kids: Emily, Madison, Ty, Ev and Hannah waved furiously and smiled those big, open faced smiles at me as if they had been waiting just for ME... my heart nearly overflowed. It was if in that moment, every child was comforting me, loving me, telling me WELCOME. And when I took Kate back to the nursey with me later and she was FINE and played and I sat, a few kids came up to me to show me "her shoes" or "how strong he was" or "her dress" and I realized...man, KIDS ARE GREAT. KIDS ARE GOD'S OWN. KIDS DESERVE THE ULTIMATE IN CARE AND LOVE and I was glad to be there to give 'em some. It was a God thing ya know and even though I really hadn't intended on sharing this, I am currently experiencing a third miscarriage having begun late last night. So how I packed it all up and got my badonkadonk to church was a DEFINITELY a God thing.
And now? Complete peace. Happy. Joyful.Veritably SNATCHED off my back and PLUNKED down on my feet again and ready to take on the world again tomorrow. Which is a good thing since Sloan goes for her restricted license, the second issue of Lake Family Magazine arrives (yes, we changed the name) AND I have a design meeting ALL before 12... So while I'm not sure how this exactly translates into an Easter message...somehow I just FEEL that it does, so
Praise God people and his tender mercies in every form they come! Today, for me, it was the children of CC. Woohoo! (and I mean that in a Calvary Chapel sorta way) ;) Happy Easter!

While we watch American Idol...the world goes on.

Dorothy Dixon ate what she could forage from the refrigerator upstairs, where housemates used her for target practice with BBs, burned her with a glue gun and doused her with scalding liquid that peeled away her skin.They torched what few clothes she had, so she walked around naked. They often pummeled her with an aluminum bat or metal handle.Dixon -- six months pregnant -- died after weeks of abuse. Police have charged two adults, three teenagers and a 12-year-old boy with murder in the case that has repulsed many in this Mississippi River town."This is heartbreaking," police Lt. David Hayes said. "It was almost as though they were making fun of the abuse they were administering. This woman was almost like living in a prison."Investigators put much of the blame on Michelle Riley, 35, who they said befriended Dixon but pocketed monthly Social Security checks she got because of her developmental delays.Dixon saw little, if any, of the money, Hayes said. For months she weathered the torment to keep a roof over her head and that of her year-old son, who weighed just 15 pounds when taken into state custody after his mom's death."I've never seen an almost conspiratorial effort by a group of people to continuously torture someone until she finally died, then not really show any remorse," Hayes said. "It was just a slow, torturous, tragic way to die. I highly doubt Dorothy Dixon even knew she was dying."Riley, 43-year-old Judy Woods and three teenagers, including Riley's 15-year-old daughter, LeShelle McBride, are charged with first-degree murder, aggravated and heinous battery, intentional homicide of an unborn child, and unlawful restraint. Riley's 12-year-old son is charged as a juvenile.Riley, her daughter, Woods and 16-year-old Benny Wilson have public defenders who did not immediately return messages for comment. An 18-year-old defendant, Michael Elliott, planned to get his own attorney, court records show.All remain in jail on $1 million bond.Messages left with a Chicago-area sister of Dixon went unreturned, but neighbors, Hayes and newspaper accounts offer a mosaic of the months leading to Dixon's demise inside the small, white, blue-shuttered house.Riley and Dixon, police said, had lived in Quincy, a Mississippi River town about 100 miles north of St. Louis, Mo. Quincy is where Riley worked as a coordinator for a regional center that helps the developmentally disabled with housing and other services. Dixon was a client.For years, an impoverished Riley struggled raising her children. Her use of methamphetamine and cocaine brought drug convictions in 2002 and 2004. But with treatment and housing help from the Quincy YWCA, Riley put her life in order -- so much that in February of last year, the Quincy Herald-Whig did a story on her comeback.Last summer, Dixon and Riley moved into the $800-a-month, three-bedroom rental in Alton about 15 miles north of St. Louis. From the start, neighbors Chad Hudson and Terri Brandt considered Riley trouble."Michelle was evil, vindictive. Manipulative," said Hudson, who is convinced the teenagers were Riley's powerless minions."She was angry, vicious," added Brandt.Riley considered Dixon her slave, making her rub Riley's feet until Riley fell asleep and forcing her to run naked around the house when she got in trouble, the neighbors said."Being in their house was like being in a prison day room," Hudson said. "They just sat around the kitchen table and fought."There was little question that Riley ruled the roost.While doing fix-ups on the home last fall, landlord Steve Atkins saw Riley "barking orders" at the children and everyone else. Atkins joked to her whether he needed to call the Army and see if they wanted their drill sergeant back."She didn't laugh about it at all," Atkins said. "Obviously, I hit a nerve."Atkins said Dixon generally kept to herself "but was always nice when she spoke to you." He saw no hints she'd been suffering or tortured."I would have never, ever suspected something like this," he said. "It's definitely shocking."Police said Dixon was allowed out of the house but didn't say under what conditions. Hayes didn't know who the father of Dixon's fetus is.Hayes said things apparently came to a head Jan. 30, when investigators believe that Woods, during a dispute, beat Dixon on the head with an object Hayes wouldn't identify. The next day Woods found her dead.Hayes watched the autopsy and found her injuries disturbing. X-rays revealed roughly 30 BBs lodged in her. Deep-tissue burns covered about one-third of her body -- her face, her chest, her arms and feet -- and left her severely dehydrated. Her face and body showed signs of prolonged abuse. Many of her wounds were infected.None of the injuries, Hayes said, proved singly fatal to Dixon. Her system already was taxed by her unborn baby."The autopsy sort of indicates her immune system just shut down," he said. "It was not capable of fending off any more."In the rental home's basement, Atkins said, he found spots of blood in a shower and tiny smears on the concrete floor, washer and dryer."It's disgraceful the way this girl died, as kind and as sweet as this girl was," he said. "She didn't deserve to die the way she did. It's just terrible, senseless. It's just a total shame."
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2008-03-21 15:22:15