Well, ironically, (providentially is more like it) I finish blogging and walk out when S brings it up again. She tells the story she read in NGJ about a screaming child in the car. After being disciplined, they note that he seems joyful. She wonders about it. I told her that when they were little they were the same. After being disciplined they were always more loving and light spirited. Not immediately of course, I tell her. No one likes being disciplined in the moment. But after awhile they were very joyful.
"Why?" she asks. I tell her it is because the Word of God says that those who love their children, discipline them. Somewhere in a child's spirit they recognize and receive that discipline as love. Because if you believe scripture, that is what it is. Children need to feel the walls of discipline. It makes their world orderly and safe. But, sometimes they have to bump into them.
The walls of discipline are the arms of a parent.
They hug a child protectively when they are young. And the walls expand and allow a child more and more room to grow as they gain age and experience and self discipline. Eventually the arms are wide open and the child is free from the walls of protection but resting gently and safely in the arms of much bigger parent. God.
By this time, they have learned to listen to and obey the protective voice of the Lord.
Their new "walls" don't hold them in but UP.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Growing up Homeschoolers and The "D" Word...
S has really been blessing my heart lately. She is reading the No Greater Joy books and like it or not, she is getting affirmations right and left. It is amazing. Something will come up in real life and suddenly she is exclaiming, "I just read that in NGJ!"
Today she said, "I know how I am going to homeschool my kids". Do you KNOW what a blessing that is to hear???? I immediately squashed into oblivion my initial reaction which was, (can you guess?) "You mean different than me???" and intstead simply asked, "Really? How?"
She went on to say that she would only start "real" core curriculum at the age of ten or so. That kids should be able to learn and play until then. Ooooh. Chills. Wow.
To think that she (all of them really, she is just the oldest so everything is happening with her first) anyway, that she will be so many steps ahead of where I was when I started. That the Truth is hitting her as Truth is a b-e-a-UTIFUL thing. What is that scripture? "My greatest joy is to see my children walk in truth"...
I love that she has in her hands the tools that I never had. I realize with vast amounts of gratitude that what I lack in experience, God can make up for with tools! We are privvy to INFORMATION. Thank you to all the homeschoolers before us who have put things to print!
The NGJ books have also aided in her ideas of discipline and now that they don't require much discipline, she is able to read those books and have an even deeper understanding of WHY things are the way they are. She applies it to her sisters and even to herself!
I have come to realize dear daughters, that there are generally three groups of parents.
Those that have their children's hearts but don't discipline.
Those that discipline but don't have their children's hearts.
And finally those that have their children's hearts and discipline as well.
The first group have the children you do not want to be around. And they may THINK they have their children's hearts but they don't fully. Because if they did the children would respect and mind them.
The second group have well behaved kids but rebellion is in their hearts. You can oft see this in their eyes and they lack basic kindness, compassion and are mean behind their parents backs. These are the ones with the fake smiles and unruly hearts. It is so sad and really much worse than the first group because they are being taught to "put on" good behavior while they are feeling something else. Often lonliness for real relationship.
The last group has got it knocked. And while nothing is a guarantee, following scripture will ALWAYS be the right path to take. Bar none. No exception. You disipline because you love. You love and SO you discipline. I pray that Lord willing, I will one day see your own children looking adoringly up at you, face full of wonder and unadulterated love for you, running with a yes Maam, to go and do your bidding. You will never regret disciplining your children and requiring respect from them.
I don't know where we fall in the mix exactly, but I pray when you are reading this, you will remember mostly that we were somewhere in the middle. Perhaps we indulged you once too often, perhaps we were a little too strict at times, but that we always had your hearts. And we always put relationship above all else. Maintaining fellowship. Restoring it when need be.
I know you will appreciate the discipline because you are already thanking us for it at your ages now!
It is amazing to see your faces with jaw dropped wonder at what that kid walking through Wal Mart said or did. I like that we concentrate on every discipline situation that we see as an opportunity to learn and not an opportunity to judge. I wonder if you will remember all this!
I imagine those NGJ case study books will be blessing your homes and my grandchildren's homes for years to come...
Today she said, "I know how I am going to homeschool my kids". Do you KNOW what a blessing that is to hear???? I immediately squashed into oblivion my initial reaction which was, (can you guess?) "You mean different than me???" and intstead simply asked, "Really? How?"
She went on to say that she would only start "real" core curriculum at the age of ten or so. That kids should be able to learn and play until then. Ooooh. Chills. Wow.
To think that she (all of them really, she is just the oldest so everything is happening with her first) anyway, that she will be so many steps ahead of where I was when I started. That the Truth is hitting her as Truth is a b-e-a-UTIFUL thing. What is that scripture? "My greatest joy is to see my children walk in truth"...
I love that she has in her hands the tools that I never had. I realize with vast amounts of gratitude that what I lack in experience, God can make up for with tools! We are privvy to INFORMATION. Thank you to all the homeschoolers before us who have put things to print!
The NGJ books have also aided in her ideas of discipline and now that they don't require much discipline, she is able to read those books and have an even deeper understanding of WHY things are the way they are. She applies it to her sisters and even to herself!
I have come to realize dear daughters, that there are generally three groups of parents.
Those that have their children's hearts but don't discipline.
Those that discipline but don't have their children's hearts.
And finally those that have their children's hearts and discipline as well.
The first group have the children you do not want to be around. And they may THINK they have their children's hearts but they don't fully. Because if they did the children would respect and mind them.
The second group have well behaved kids but rebellion is in their hearts. You can oft see this in their eyes and they lack basic kindness, compassion and are mean behind their parents backs. These are the ones with the fake smiles and unruly hearts. It is so sad and really much worse than the first group because they are being taught to "put on" good behavior while they are feeling something else. Often lonliness for real relationship.
The last group has got it knocked. And while nothing is a guarantee, following scripture will ALWAYS be the right path to take. Bar none. No exception. You disipline because you love. You love and SO you discipline. I pray that Lord willing, I will one day see your own children looking adoringly up at you, face full of wonder and unadulterated love for you, running with a yes Maam, to go and do your bidding. You will never regret disciplining your children and requiring respect from them.
I don't know where we fall in the mix exactly, but I pray when you are reading this, you will remember mostly that we were somewhere in the middle. Perhaps we indulged you once too often, perhaps we were a little too strict at times, but that we always had your hearts. And we always put relationship above all else. Maintaining fellowship. Restoring it when need be.
I know you will appreciate the discipline because you are already thanking us for it at your ages now!
It is amazing to see your faces with jaw dropped wonder at what that kid walking through Wal Mart said or did. I like that we concentrate on every discipline situation that we see as an opportunity to learn and not an opportunity to judge. I wonder if you will remember all this!
I imagine those NGJ case study books will be blessing your homes and my grandchildren's homes for years to come...
Countdown to Kate...
Kate is getting so big. I cannot believe she is almost one already! Where did the time go...IT has been so amazing having her in this beautiful place with these wonderful Mom's. At this age, having another one has been so different, definitely even better I would say! SO much more patience. Lol
THe girls are planning quite the party for her. Since we turned to homemade family birthdays we have enjoyed them somuch more. I tried to tell them not to overdo it but there is not stopping them I'm afraid. S is making the cake, L is handling the decorations and R is handling the presents. One year old....and never would I have thought we would be having more. IF I get to have five, I may just keel over with happiness.
It really can get under my skin when someone "wishes" a boy on me like it is some kind of curse. "Oh, just WAIT until you have a boy", "I can't WAIT until you get one" "Then you'll see!"
As if you "girl"children just were born all nicely disciplined and well behaved! Ridiculous. Boys are different but they are not born to test parents any more than girls were. They were born to be a blessing and for God's good pleasure. The smae as you. Boy or girl, we want more too!
(admittedly, the idea of a boy is a little frightening!) But after four girls, who can blame me!
We'll get what God decides and that, as they say, is that!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Kiss Me Kate!
The girls just bless my heart with how much they love K. We are hard pressed to understand how there can be so much sibling rivalry between kids these days. I do not think it natural if parents have the hearts of their children and are in real relationship with them. The kids are always perplexed when they hear of "How to handle older children resenting new babies".
They are pressing me for another one asap! I'm bound to be swayed by their argument...One is such a delicious age. We could, as S puts it, eat her whole face for breakfast!
Happy Birthday Grandpa Earl
We had my Dad's birthday today. I really cannot believe he made it another year with all of this health problems. His 80th birthday! He came up with my sister Terri who flew in from Scottsdale. She is well like by the girls and is an avid and accomplished sewer. She raved over Rachel's skirt and thought their work was good! She especially like the finished seams! She says most people just leave them rough and it is better work to finish them. Go M!
For the man who has it all, (or more aptly doesn't want anything) we decided to paint pictures on some handkerchiefs that he uses. We were going to iron on some monograms but they were way too pricey. So after going to three stores looking for the iron ons and finally finding them at Michael's, we ran into the fabric paint and ta da! Excellent idea if I do say so myself. We all had a good laugh over the visual of his blowing his nose into their pictures.
The girls made him a carrot cake and he had two pieces! We got him some big band music, a couple of movies and a shirt as well. He wasn't feeling very good after suffering a fall last week so they didn't stay very long but I think it was a good thing we did it. He's a pretty good guy and tough as he is, he seemed to really enjoy the company and K who TOTALLY flirted with him the whole time.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Rachel's First Skirt
M and I made the MOST beautiful skirt the other day.
Whoops, I lied. M and R made it. I watched.
It is SO fantastic and the kind of work I'd like to do. M and I go back and forth on whether I need a pattern to do it again. We'll see...
The time together was the best part...we seem to click like friends should. Different enough to challenge each other, similar enough to relate. Wacko enough to laugh at ourselves and with each other!
I am looking forward to the next time.
Whoops, I lied. M and R made it. I watched.
It is SO fantastic and the kind of work I'd like to do. M and I go back and forth on whether I need a pattern to do it again. We'll see...
The time together was the best part...we seem to click like friends should. Different enough to challenge each other, similar enough to relate. Wacko enough to laugh at ourselves and with each other!
I am looking forward to the next time.
To Immunize or Not to Immunize...
I haven't been able to blog for awhile now but I feel half way good enough to at this moment so we'll see how it goes.
Kate got some shots on Friday and has been fevered ever since. (this is day three)
It hasn't made me too happy of course, but it seems regarding immunizations, I just can't muster up the chutzpah to figure it.
If she continues with fever I may have to take her in to her Dr. which is well against my better judgement. I am bound to want to do the EXACT opposite of whatever they say so what's the point?
I gave a shout our for prayer and got some good advice from my friend N. Her Mom was a nurse in the 40's and said we were blessed to have the immunizations as she saw all the kids with the very diseases they immunize against today. It's a good point and I think that I just am enjoying all the support.
I forget that yes, even I, need support. And it cannot and does not always come from the hubby! It often comes in the form of friends. I am blessed again by my homeschooling group...and all the vast experience.
I hope to give this little girl a little sister or brother soon so keeping her healthy is a must!
Kate got some shots on Friday and has been fevered ever since. (this is day three)
It hasn't made me too happy of course, but it seems regarding immunizations, I just can't muster up the chutzpah to figure it.
If she continues with fever I may have to take her in to her Dr. which is well against my better judgement. I am bound to want to do the EXACT opposite of whatever they say so what's the point?
I gave a shout our for prayer and got some good advice from my friend N. Her Mom was a nurse in the 40's and said we were blessed to have the immunizations as she saw all the kids with the very diseases they immunize against today. It's a good point and I think that I just am enjoying all the support.
I forget that yes, even I, need support. And it cannot and does not always come from the hubby! It often comes in the form of friends. I am blessed again by my homeschooling group...and all the vast experience.
I hope to give this little girl a little sister or brother soon so keeping her healthy is a must!
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