I'm only blogging because a friend dared me to. Made me. Dared me. Whatever. I have nothing to say that is positive and am wondering if I should embrace the new negative me or do as my Grandmother said, "If you can't say anything nice..."
Actually she said, "If you can't be a blessing, then stay home." But that didn't quite fit so I adapted it to the old stand by.
I am SICK TO DEATH of falling off the health food wagon. I am just saying that Creamsicle Cupcakes and Devil Dogs along with Smoked Turkey Feta wraps and Creamy tomato fettuccine is going to taste a whole HECKUVA lot better than lettuce. And for those of you that have seen my garden, you know I have a Great White Hunter ability to possess lettuce. Ya'll know I am just kidding and love a good healthy salad. I am just in my 20% mode right now. (You know, that old 80/20 solution of 80% Healthy and 20% free for all?)
I am just wondering if I can I live my 20% for say, 99% of a period of time (that is TBA) and then live my 80% 50% of the time so I can then gradually make up the 30% in my 20% time. Then save the extra 1% to
I'm skipping church today because I feel mean and if I have to paste a smile on my face and hear anyone say any one nice thing to me or one mean thing about someone else I might go postal. I realize the phrase "going postal" is seriously outdated but I have never been able to use it so I am taking the license. Besides, I like things that are postal. Like pretty stamps. I LOVE pretty, cool, different, themed stamps. So if you ever want to get me anything, get me stamps. The Forever kind, thankyouverymuch. Not that I ever send ANYTHING by mail anymore...am I digressing or what?
What was I saying? I have no idea.
So I am staying home from church today and wallowing in whatever and seriously considering an official nervous breakdown. Except I am not nervous. More like a "Can you just not bother me for the rest of my LIFE" breakdown. Yeah, that's it. Am I allowed to do that? Because you know, I have this parenting book going on and I can't seem to make it fit into any of the chapters.
I just found a recipe for Cake Batter Martinis. Yes, that is a real thing. I found it here. I kid you not. I am not going to MAKE one I just said I FOUND one. Like the recipe stated, I'm not really comfortable endorsing buying 7 bottles of booze while you're still in your pajamas. But it is an interesting recipe and of course, metaphor for my life.
I just found a recipe for Cake Batter Martinis. Yes, that is a real thing. I found it here. I kid you not. I am not going to MAKE one I just said I FOUND one. Like the recipe stated, I'm not really comfortable endorsing buying 7 bottles of booze while you're still in your pajamas. But it is an interesting recipe and of course, metaphor for my life.
Life is Sweet and delicious, fun and exciting, but always leaves me tired and with a headache. My life is one Cake Batter Martini I tell ya'.
8 comments:
You are funny. I can relate. I had a mini-nervous breakdown a few weeks ago in which I doubted every choice I ever made and was convinced things were never going to get better. And nope, it wasn't just hormones. Not saying that is what you are going through, but the point is, I didn't know if I could face people and fake it. I'm not gonna lie. It kind of lasted longer than I wanted and it's still hanging on a little. Whatever. I have come to terms (just about a day ago, trithfully) that I am prone to fits of hopelessness and despair and I need to just pray through it knowing it will not pass just because I think it should pass, but it will pass at some point, so there, there's a little less hopelessness I suppose. NOT saying that's what you were even talking about here, just pointing out that whatever it is your are going through...accept it and pray - like you didn't already know that, right? Yeah, send me a check for that awesome advice! Now about that cake batter martini??? Oh dear! I must go look at this. Um, did you know I eat dry cake batter. Yes. I hide it and take a few spoonfuls everyday. It's my own persoal crack.
Personal crack, that sounds like a good title for a blog post. Except my personal crack is actually crack. You know I am kidding by my weight. That I would be thin enought to be considered a crack addict. My new goal. Lofty, eh? I hear you on the breakdown. Glad someone can relate. I know my hormone meltdowns, this isn't one. This is a I'm transitioning out of some of the busiest, best, worst, stressful, miserable, happy, fullfilling, draining years of my life. I know I am happy but can't feel it because I do not recognize that feeling anymore after being involved in one-woman publishing for so long. I like this two woman comment fest we're having. I think we always liked that. :)
I know, when I was first married and Greg's mom told me I looked disgustingly thin and ill I said "thanks" and I meant it. Oh, to have someone say that to me again! A little demented, but oh well.
So I finally checked out the recipe. Too much work involved. It would be easier to just make the cake batter and pour in some vodka and then drink it. NOT that I am proposing that. I like her site though.
Yeah, the point wasn't too actually MAKE the recipe. It was a metaphor. LOL. BUT, if you made it, I would in fact, come right over.
What's a metaphor? I feel like I've heard that word bephore. Should I know this for homeschooling or something? Also, I like going back and phorth with the comments, but when are you letting everyone else in on the phact that you are blogging again. Of course I do feel all sorts of special being the only one on here. You can't link here from your comments on my site - did you do that on purpose? And are you already sick of the blog? And do you like what I've done with the ph on all my words with the letter f in them? Because I have to tell you, this is the sort of thing that I find so amusing and I was sitting here laughing ( or is it lauphing) at myselph. I mean aren't I the phunniest person around?
I don't know how to let people know again. Kinda hard to say hey, I haven't checked out your blog in a year but I'm back so come read mine? Besides, I am headed toward going for a full out open blog and gaining more readers eventually. Maybe spin LFM into a website/blog in prep for the book and other items...we'll see. Not sure I can be mainstream enough to attract readership. I love how the blog encourages my less than careful posting. Unlike the mag which I HAD to temper myself in. Sigh. Ironically, I feel WAy more like its private here when it's actually more open and way LESS private on FB which is a closed page just to my "friends". But I am nervouse to link them...or let 400 people there know that I am HERE. Yikes. Looking back, I don't even remember writing half of that! And so...I would be "out" once the "FB 400" took a gander. Same people who read my blog before have other things going on now. Plus, who knows if I can keep it up!
feel like I am eavesdropping!! BUT I found this post and the comments between you and ann marie wonderful...funny and real!! I love you Steph! I really do!
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