I had such a beautiful moment at Wal Mart today. It was busier than I had EVER seen it. I was in line for a near hour...moments like those cause me to get really deeply centered, not impatient, believe it or not.
I was happily looking around trying to calm the 85 year old REALLY impatient woman who was behind me, down.
So on the bench in the middle of the aisle, there is a Dad and his son who is hightly autistic sitting there. He was rocking and breathing these long deep breaths. I don't know how he wasn't hyperventilating with those breaths except you could tell that was just his normal breathing mode...
Anyway, what struck me was the amazing LOVE this Dad had for this kid. He kept wiping his mouth and whispering in his ear and kissing him on the neck and giving him little hugs. Not in an overt way, just a purely agape love way. It was hard not to watch and I hoped the Dad didn't think I was staring.
So eventually the Dad catches my eye and I smile warmly at him. I hoped he understood my pleasure in his love for his son.
He directed his son's gaze up to mine and I held his gaze and waved at him.
The boy who was about 13-14 I guess stopped and slowly, slowly smiled. He stopped his heavy breathing and sat up straight. He eventually started to wave to me and we stood there, enraptured by each other waving quietly never looking away. I nearly approached him to touch his hand.
I hoped that somehow this boy knew that I truly loved him. Sigh.
It was such a beautiful moment.
It reminded me of some years ago when I was regularly massaging a boy who had intense brain damage that he had sustained as a baby in the hospital. Big news in our neck of the woods as it became quite the case since he was born healthy.
Anyway, he was 15 and had extreme tonis which is intense shaking and spasm of the musculature of the body. His muscles were always ROCK hard with it. The only time it stopped was when he was on the massage table. He could not talk but only made whooping sounds nor could he walk without help. But on the massage table he was still and quiet and relaxed.
I'll never forget him. His name was David.
His Mom told me before I met him that he would either like me or not and to not take it personally.
He loved me. Lol
I can still remember shaking his hand each time we saw each other and reciting:
How do you do!
How do you do!
I'm just fine, how are YOU!
He loved that.
Anyway, he loved his massage and I always felt like he was getting a reprieve from his muscle issues for a while.
One night, I had an intense intense dream about him.
We were standing together in what appeared to be the sky.
He was just quietly talking to me. He was telling me of what he would have done "if". How he would have liked to travel to here and to there and how he would have done this or that.
But we were just standing there talking and he was such a handsome kid. Tall and blonde and STRONG in real life, in my dream he had lost all of the characteristics of his brain damage and was even more handsome. He was standing tall, legs were not turned. Eye contact was clear and steady, movement easy. Just a young man talking of his life dreams. It was a really amazing dream.
It affected me to no end and I was anxious to tell his Mom. She seemed relatively unaffected by it. Probably thought I was crazy. Lol But maybe that moment was just for me. I was sure I had been visited by his spirit in my dream! Not sure if that is what it was but I'll never forget it.
Anyway, I was really grateful for a moment like this again yesterday where I seemed to be able to connect to a kid by just a smile, eye contact and a wave.
Autism striking 1 in 150 is a scarily high percentage. I remember being pg with Kate and worrying myself silly because the Doctors had me scared to death with my "low numbers" for this and that and the baby's potential of having "this or that".
I always wondered, could I do it? could I do it?
I wonder what I must have been thinking...
moments like this one in WalMart, seeing this Dad's love for his son- made me realize...
Yes, you can.
4 comments:
What a sweet story.
"... but the greatest of these is love."
LOVE IT STEPH!! Several friends and family members have told me of dreams that they have had where Noah was whole and talking to them. I've been blessed with a few myself. It's a beautiful reminder to me that one day...don't know if we will see it on this side of heaven or not...I WILL have full conversations with my son. He WILL be healed and whole. Whether in this life, or the next...only the Lord knows. And yes...the Lord gives grace and strength as we need it. When I taught special education, I always said, "Lord...I could handle any of these exceptionalities...just please, please, please, not autism." Well...you know how that prayer ended up. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I have had to learn daily that "My grace is sufficient for you"...and it is. Any situation God gives us to handle...even the "big uglies"...He gives us the strength that He promised. He IS faithful. Thank you for sharing your story...
I have goosebumps reading this post. Thanks. Oh, something else. When I was pregnant with our first, they thought he would have down's syndrome. And then when he was born, he had the Simian Creases on his hands!
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