Created to be....

in active goodwill toward your husband!

I am re-reading Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. I have found with Jeff's being gone and my needing to slip into the role of head of the house (in the physical anyway) that it is NOT so easy to slip OUT of it upon his return. Jeff and I have what you may call the "easiest relationship in the world". We actually LOVE each other and enjoy and endeavor to spend time together. He is easy to get along with and believe it or not, so am I. Usually. Well, maybe he puts up with me? I don't know.

But seriously folks, it is the little things that I have noticed myself doing..like saying, "We're going to do this or that", or just little, little things. It is easy to be too tired, too nonchalant, too complaining (Philippians 2:14, Philippians 2:14) See! There's the 2:14 again! (My Mother would say let's go play 2-1-4 on the pick three! And that's the kind of Mom I have. Gotta love her! But---digressing again)

Back to the matter at hand...

We don't fight or yell or even raise our voices. We don't pick on each other or call each other names and I cannot remember the last time he ever made me cry.

But, like I was telling Sloan the other day in regards to disciplining children of varying behavioral degrees, everything is relative! (Someone else's troubling child's worst, is the same as another's relatively well behaved child's worst, to that particular parent)

So even in a good marriage, something that is amiss is amiss and needs to be corrected! So I notice right off when something is off balance in myself. So off to refining school I go via the route of the Holy Spirit! So expect some "Created" stuff until I get totally back on track.

"...Does your husband share Adam's feelings of delight when he looks upon you? Do you wake each morning ready to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability-to be his helper? Are you engaged in active goodwill toward your man? That is God's perfect will for you."

(This is like music to my ears to hear again! This is what I am created for! Created to do! Created to be! If this makes you gag, you might want to prayerfully pick up your book too. Lol)

"When you are a help meet to your husband, you are a helper to Christ, for God commissioned man for a purpose and gave him a woman to assist in fulfilling that divine calling. When you honor your husband, you honor God. When you obey your husband, you obey God. The degree to which you reverence your husband is the degree to which you reverence your Creator. As we serve our husbands, we serve God. But in the same way, when you dishonor your husband, you dishonor God."

FOR THE MAN IS NOT OF THE WOMAN; BUT THE WOMAN OF THE MAN. NEITHER WAS THE MAN CREATED FOR THE WOMAN; BUT THE WOMAN FOR THE MAN.

1 Cor. 11:8-9

Sometimes we sure do act like they were created for us. Every time we complain, kvetch, moan, criticize, sigh heavily, etc. etc. we are saying: You are not there for me.

Would we do that to a boss at work? No way. But at home in the honor of marriage, no problem? I admittedly have been having a hard time of it lately without Jeff and without the intimate knowledge of a church family. (yet!) It is easy for me to become depressed and mopey. He calls, and I am upset with the kids. Is that me being there FOR him? Nope.

This is not about his "deserving" it.

"Who said anything about what he deserves? (though I think MINE does!) You can only realize your womanhood when you are functioning according to your created nature. IT is not a question of whether or not you can do a better job than he; it is a matter of doing what you were "designed" to do. If you successfully do the job of leading the family, you will not find satisfaction in it. It is far better that the job be done poorly by your husband than to be done well by you."

"When he first fell in love with you, you were a sweet little thing, full of laughter and fun. From the very bottom of your soul you were thrilled with him. Every day you woke up planning some activity that involved you both. Is he still married to that same sweet little thing, or have you become a long-faced, sickly complainer? Love is like a flower: you can't expect it to grow without sunshine. Has your lover seen your sunshine lately? Is he still your lover? What would he say?

So yesterday I apologized and asked for his forgiveness. And you know what? He seemed totally different after that in that conversation. Confident, happy, leading...

Take it as you will but I am choosing to remember my God given role in this life.

I am created to be my honey's HELPMEET. Even when he is not here. I need to keep HIS best interests at heart, not my own.