What UP with the child discrimination going around lately? Banned from nice restaraunts....the problem is not that kids should be banned from restaraunts, it is that parents won't discipline them so they can properly attend a nice restaraunt. Sure, I get it, kids under two cannot always be made to behave but I mean an AGE limit on dining? Talk about trying to put a bandaid on the problem. If your kid is 12 and cannot behave, I would say the problem may be larger than not being able to dine upscale.
J and I are excited to do this supper thing at church. We noticed there is a kid-no kid option. How funny that someone would NOT want to be around kids! Could that be the problem, not the kids? Children are a blessing from the Lord! Why is it that until they are of a certain age, they are not thought of as such? Since when did we decide that kids were a PROBLEM? I know I am going to hear it for this so please, go ahead, set me straight. I only ask that we be allowed to have people come to our house who DON'T have kids. I don't mind that they don't have kids at all. Really. They sure are welcome here! Can you imagine that we are at a place where our kids are so undisciplined that we may not be able to bring them to someone's house? That someone would need an "opt out" of visiting with us because of them? YIKES.
I want to mix it up...kids, no kids, space aliens, bring it on...all to the Glory of God!!!
Disclaimer: I get that if the kids are scary-undisciplined why that option would be there. I don't want to get imprisoned for two hours with disrespectful kids either. So please assume I am talking about any reasonably well-behaved children. Nor am I judging the ones who aren't. I am just sayin'.
7 comments:
Ok, how about this thought. If kids in church are misbehaving at our church anyone available is allowed to reprimand. We after all are in our church family and we all take a oath in church to help in raising Godly children. Don't you remember your elders shushing you in church or telling you not to run. It is more to the detriment that parents today think their children need no discipline, and then are insulted if you say something to their child. As for wanting a child free dinner, WHAT?? at a CHURCH?? I guess we can see the retirement community mentality at work, and how selfish is that? How can a church body minister and train the next generation if they do not value it. And that argument goes both ways. Do we value our elderly in our culture? I would say that our culture is a little ME oriented, "what did I get out of church? Sorry for the rant... But come ON
Glad to see you back posting...I have quite a few topics in this area and church in general I will be blogging. I just have one more Bday to get through...
Maybe the "no kids" list is for people who are looking at it as "date night" for the parents mixing it up with older couples who are empty nesters or younger without children yet? R and I have gone to one of these and the kids were old enough to be left home and wouldn't have wanted to go anyway and it worked out well... it was our first "date night" in forever.
I know what you mean about the nice restaraunts. I heard something about it in the news...could hardly believe it but I've also been to Ci-Ci's (kids appreciated) where I wish I could have been very bold to parents who's children were so incredibly undisciplined I was shocked... so if I was paying $75 and higher for a "nice" dinner... I don't know... and I'm very pro-family.
Well, the dinners aren't IN the church actually but in homes, or wherever in order for (families?) to get to know one another. I can see Chewhi's point BUT! I don't want to have to hear an obnoxious, spoiled child ANYWHERE, be it an upscale restauraunt OR a kid friendly one. Kids should be behaved no matter WHERE they are, period. This is the old problem of putting a bandaid on a wound much larger...the point is NOT that kids should or should not be allowed here or there- but that anywhere kids are, there won't be a problem. I did just read (ironically after this post)an interestsing article about adult atmosphered places...where an adult has to change his behavior, conversation, etc. because of a present child when they were there in the first place to be an ADULT...but Lisa's right, it is CHURCH after all, we are big believers in mult-generation mixing...it's why youth groups don't work. Put 20 same aged kids together and you get the exact OPPPOSITE of Heaven.
I started taking my kids to mass when they were babies and they seemed to get used to it right away. And believe me when I say I do not have perfect children, no where close to it, but for some reason because they were included right away, from the time they were born, they all seemed to be good for us there, even my son who really doesn't sit still anywhere else. There have been times where my husband has to walk out with one of them, but it doesn't happen too often. I haven't ever shushed another's child but I certainly have done my share of glaring at other families and I always feel rotten when I do. Lately I have used those times to remember that the Lord is probably trying to correct something in me and purposely putting those kids in my way. Did I mention I have zero patience? So I try to look at those times as a little challenge, but ofcourse there are many weeks when I lose.
As far as kids not being included, I have found that when children are viewed as pests they act the part. If you take your kids out to dinner and then try to have a serious conversation with just your husband you are creating a recipe for disaster. I know this because we have been stupid enough to do this. So, when we are together as a family we try to remember to act like a family. I guess the problem arises when you haven't been out alone with your husband in ages and you think if you go out all together your kids will be distracted by all the goings on and just leave you and your husband alone for one minute and that never happens, not for us anyway.
Hey,
I just wanted to clarify the Supper Club thing at CCOTL.
We started it when we were studying the book of Acts. In Acts 2:42 it says “And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine, and in fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.”
While some people are naturally gifted in hospitality and naturally invite people to dinner & fellowship, etc. we knew that there are some people who need a little help in this area. OR maybe some tend to gravitate toward the same people and we thought it would be fun to mix "the body" up a bit.
Well, the Supper Club concept is nothing new, many churches do this. However, none of us had ever done this before so during the planning stages, we had to start from scratch with the details. We've had to tweak it as we go, but most of it has been well thought out.
Now to the point... in brainstorming the details we thought it would be nice to offer the option of choosing to be in an adult only group. MOST people do not choose this, but it is an option for those who might not have a kid friendly home or just want, like Chewhi said, a date night with other adults.
The sign up sheet actually says something like "family friendly, adults only or no preference". When sign up ends you are randomly placed in a group of approximately 6 adults. These small groups try to get together for 2 to 3 meals over a 6 week period. Then we have a new sign up and re-assign the groups.
MOST people choose no preference and most groups consist of families with kids, couples with none, retired empty nesters, widows, singles (young & old), special needs families, all mixed up!
Butterflies are pretty- Ben said I should say that!
Anyway, the option is there for those who might really prefer to not be in a group with children. Yes, it is sad, but we are in a fallen world. Some homes are filled with precious things that some people may value more than sharing fellowship with a family with a bunch of kids. BUT there are also plenty of very well-meaning, children-loving people who just want to have a break and enjoy an adult conversation.
Example: if we were to be in a group with the Clunns and one of these retirees with a white walled home filled with white furniture, an unenclosed swimming pool, exposed wires & electronics everywhere, etc. we would be bringing nine children into a home that is not only no fun for the kids, but would not be much fun for us parents either. That's not even mentioning the folks who own the home and are probably nervous and distracted because they aren't used to having a house full of kids.
SO, again, the option is there.
and butterflies are pretty!
Well said my friend!
I think it sad that we just ALLOW this instead of deal with it. But dealing with it is so HARD!!! It means A)we have to discipline our kids and/or B) we have to make allowances and accomodations for those WITH kids when we don't have them! ACK! What is the world coming to!?!?! LOL
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